The One Where Chandler is Already Gay
by cobrafantasies
Summary: If Chandler was gay in the life of Friends. Chandler is opening gay and living his life with the gang normally, but will any relationships change because of it?
1. Chapter 1

**Author:** Jen

**Author's Note: **I wanted to write a story where Chandler is already openly out and living his life with the friends as a gay man. He met the whole gang and was roommates with Joey before he came out. Now it's been a few years since he came out and the friends are all accepting of him. Takes place around season five.

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately, I do not own anything or any of the characters.

* * *

So, I've been dating this new guy lately, his name is Eddie. He's kind of weird and creepy, but god is he good in bed. He's… quiet, he only says a word or two most of the time and truthfully he's not my type _looks_ wise either. My type is more…Joey. Not that I have thing for Joey, he's my best friend. I knew him before I even came out. It's just I have a thing for the Italian type with a cute face and dimples. That's not Eddie, he has a long face with bushy eyebrows that makes him look kind of evil and I hate how he slicks his hair back scalp tight like he's in a mob or something, but I'm being harsh. He's not… _that_ bad.

Really, my friend from work set us up and I couldn't be less into him. He was boring and strange throughout the whole first date, so at the time, I figured I might as well get something out of this night. So I take him back to the apartment and we end up sleeping together and now it's the only reason I keep him around. I honestly have no idea how he feels. It's only physical for me, but he barely says a word ever, so I have no idea if he's aware of this or if he cares.

But I guess I say we're "dating" cause occasionally he'll look at me and say "dinner?" and I'll go "sure" and we'll go out to eat or sometimes catch a movie. But truthfully I do those things with Ross or Phoebe or any of my friends, so maybe I shouldn't count it.

Well, anyway one night I have Eddie in my room and we're starting to fool around, when he stops and looks at me. I wait for him to form words.

"You know…" he starts slow, like always. It's like a year waiting for him to complete a sentence, if this guy ever spoke fast I would be beyond shocked.

"It's pretty cool of your friends…. being so cool with your sexuality and all."

I'm taken aback by his words for once. This is the deepest thing he has ever said to me and also the first time he has ever mentioned my friends; whom he has met and seen countless times.

"Uh, yeah I guess it is."

I lean in to get back to what I need him for, but he doesn't budge. He brushes my kiss off and stares into the unknown again.

"I…I didn't have the easiest time coming out."

"No?"

He shakes his head. I know I should be interested and comforting towards him and this experience we both had to go through, but I could care less. I really feel nothing for this guy. I'm preparing myself for the longest story of my life when we hear a knock at my door.

"Chandler?" I hear Joey's voice and have never been so happy to hear it. Thank you Joey, thank you!

I jump up and swing the door open.

"Yeah bud?" I gleefully lean against the doorframe with a smile on my face. He sees Eddie on my bed.

"Oh, sorry am I interrupting?" he asks.

"Not at all, what do you need?"

"I was just wondering if you ate, I was gonna order a pizza."

"Oh no I haven't, I'd love to get in on that…Eddie you want to stay for pizza?"

Eddie looks up at me and silently starts to get up, off my bed. We wait awkwardly for him to decide to answer. He finally says, "Nah, I think I'll head home."

He sounds disappointed.

I think I'm supposed to feel bad about crushing his opportunity to share his coming out tale, but I'm so happy he's leaving. He approaches to the doorframe and Joey backs up so he can pass by, but Eddie walks right up to Joey anyway and simply states, "Joey." Joey nods and replies, "Eddie." He nods and leaves. When the front door shuts, I smile at Joey and he gives me a half smile back.

"He's still creepy," he says to me.

"I know."

We walk to the island to get the phone and order the pizza.

"So why do you keep him around?" Joey asks as he gets the pizza menu out.

I give him a look of he knows why and he scrunches his face at me.

* * *

Another week or so goes by and everything with Eddie is the same again. He hasn't mentioned his coming out experience again or tried to start up the story again. We're back to one word conversations and sex, when suddenly he springs the biggest shocker on me.

"I don't think this is working," he says to me, one night, in my room when I have my pants around my ankles. I thought we were just about to get busy. I reach down and pull my pants back up.

"What?" I spit out.

"This…us… it's not working out for me anymore."

"What— what do you mean, you —wait you don't think," I stumbled, still fathomed by the fact that he could be breaking up with me.

"Why?" I finally get out.

"It's obvious you have feelings for Joey."

Now my mouth really drops.

"Joey….Joey? _Feelings_? For... Joey!" I sputter out.

"Yeah," he responds calmly as ever, with no emotion, like always.

"I don't _like_ Joey, he's my friend and roommate," I tell him.

"Come on, you guys have like history and a bond, I can see the way you look at him."

It's bad enough I could have never seen any of this coming, but it's also hard to handle this many words coming out of Eddie's mouth at once.

"Eddie, listen I don't like Joey that way, if I did I'm sure I would have made a move on him already," I tell him firmly.

"Well, is he single?" Eddie asks.

"What does that matter?"

"Well, maybe I'd like to date him."

My head literally spins around in circles at this point.

"He's not gay!" I shout. "And and what do you mean date him, now you like him and not me?" I add, frustrated.

"Eh, well you are just… boring sometimes… a little stale."

"_Boring_? _Boring_!" I yell in astonishment.

I can't believe he's saying this. The guy with literally no emotion and three words a day is calling me stale and boring, _me_! I can't believe this guy, there must be stream blowing out of my ears at this point.

"Alright, Eddie, just go!"

I figure there's no use in arguing. If he doesn't already know what a bore he is, someone else can break it to him. He probably wouldn't see it anyway.

I point to the door and he walks out. He stops outside my room turns and says his final word to me.

"Goodbye."


	2. Chapter 2

Eddie and are officially done. Now, that's he's truly gone I really can't believe I was ever with him. The thought of him gives me shivers even when I think of what I received from him in bed, which was the reason I kept him around.

So, back to dating and off to find a new guy, I think having Eddie in my life, I kind of slacked on trying to find someone better. Probably because I thought we might be dating. It's tough because my life is so the same. I go to work, where the options are consistently the same and then at home I hang out with the same five people I always do and everyone is straight there. I realize I have to go out. Luckily, the gay scene is much more laid back.

I go to a few gay bars that week and find myself getting nowhere. Have I forgotten how to do this? I was only with Eddie a few months.

Finally, I pick up this guy. Again, he's not my type, but I settle for him because I need some action. I let him stay the night, but the next morning is Saturday and now there's no work excuse to use. I realize this as I wake up before my date.

I'm lying in bed next to him trying to think of an excuse to get him out. Wow, I think I've become Joey, I suddenly consider. Now, I'm just feeling pretty awesome, except that the people I'm bedding are not nearly as attractive as the ones he gets. Well, anyway what would he say to get rid of them? Oh he would just use his audition excuse, an actor can have an audition any day. Maybe I should start lying and saying I'm an actor? Okay, I need to stop; this is getting out of hand.

Just then my date wakes up and turns to me. He nuzzles his nose against my arm, which is weird to say the least. What are we, bunnies?

"Hey cutie," he smiles at me.

"Hey," I fake a smile. Oh god I need an excuse. He leans in to kiss me and man does he have gross breath, yuck.

"Gotta pee," I say to at least get of the bed. I jump up and head out to the bathroom, closing my bedroom door behind me. I start pacing the living room, trying to think of anything believable when Joey slugs out of his room. He yawns and stretches.

"Joey!" I whisper sternly.

"Hm?" He rubs the tiredness from his eye.

I run over to him.

"I need an excuse to ditch a date," I stress, still under my breath.

"Yeah?" He's suddenly intrigued and proud of request.

"Yes, just give me something," I plead, but then we hear a door open and it's my lame date emerging from my room. I turn and plaster another fake smile on my face.

"Hey!" I say too forced.

"I was wondering why you were taking so long," he says to me as he looks over at Joey. "Hi, I'm Randy," he introduces himself to Joey and walks over to us.

"Hey, I'm Joey," Joey tiredly replies.

I watch as Randy generates an entranced expression while staring at Joey. Joey is too tired to even notice and just stands there as Randy practically bites his lip and twirls his dress, as he's acting like a schoolgirl. God, he's pathetic.

"He's my roommate," I kill this awkward silence.

"Oh, yeah…" Randy stays fixated on Joey. Wow, a minute ago he was giving me dreamy eyes. What is with these gay men, I mean I know Joey is attractive, but have they ever seen a hot guy? In fact, I know they have, they probably passed about fifty of them when they were leaving the bar with me!

"Yeah, actually Joey's family is coming down for a visit today, so we need to start getting ready," I suddenly think up and spit out.

"Oh," Randy finally remembers I'm here and turns to me. "So, I can't hang out?" He's never seemed so saddened by this, but it gives me more backbone to know it's only because of Joey now.

"Yeah, sorry I wish you could stay, but…" I begin with a wishful tone.

"Maybe I can!" Randy swiftly cuts in.

"_No_, no you can't," I shoot him down and he frowns. "But last night was great so maybe we'll catch up again soon."

I walk Randy to the door; happy he took the time to get dressed while in my room.

"Wait, my coat," he prompts.

I freeze and nearly run back to my room to find his coat and check there's nothing else. I run it back to him and then practically push him out the door calling, "Okay, then bye bye."

"Are you gonna call me?" I hear Randy plea as the door is closing on him. I lock it and lean against the door, letting out a sigh of relief.

Joey raises his eyebrows at me.

"Smooth," he cracks and I narrow my eyes at him. He walks over to pour himself a bowl of cereal. I watch from the door as he gets his breakfast together. He's wearing baggy pajama pants and a t-shirt he must have gotten dirty last night, but still decided to sleep in. His bed hair is to the ceiling; I mean he's truthfully not looking his best. Don't get me wrong; he's still good looking, but even in this shape the dude was drooling over him. That's when it hits me, I could score much hotter guys, I mean actual attractive, gorgeous guys if I had Joey around to draw them in.

A beautiful plan plays out in my head. The good looking guys would come up to us hoping to pick up Joey and I could get them thinking they may have a shot with him. Then, in the process, get them drunk enough to come home with both us, still thinking maybe Joey will be an option and then when they realize he's not, they'll have to take their pent up frustration out on me, naked, in my bed. I smile at this devilish plan.

The only problem is how can I convince Joey to come to a gay bar with me? I walk over to the island as Joey sits on the opposite side, now enjoying his cereal in large spoonfuls.

"So, listen Joe…"

He looks up at me while crunching away.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight, me and you, a night on the town, like old times?" I suggest.

"That was before we played for different teams," he smirks at me.

"But why is that stopping us? Straight and gay people are together all the time, in fact it can be even better, we can vouch for each other because there'll be no competition!" I exclaim.

Joey leans in with a grin.

"There never was competition."

I roll my eyes at him.

"I was always winning," he feels the need to add.

"Yeah, yeah but now we know why that was don't we?" I try.

"Nah, no matter what team it is, if we were playing for the same one, I'd be winning."

Oh my god, how perfect is this? Joey just walked himself into a seamless opening for me.

"Oh yeah? You want to put that to the test?" I quickly jump on his careless mistake.

"How?"

"Well, come pretend to play on my side. We'll go to a gay bar and see how many numbers we can each get."

"Why can't we do it with women instead?" Joey debates.

"Cause I've already done that, genius, and it would be too easy for you. The point is you think you can beat me even at my own game. Come on, it'll be fun," I encourage.

"Fun? I don't want to go to a gay bar, that would be weird."

"It won't be weird, you're going to be playing a bet with me and honestly guys are only going to hit on you, that's flattering regardless of who it is, don't you think?" I attempt to sway him.

He looks down and then shrugs.

"Alright, I guess, but it has to be a good wager, what's the prize?"

Me having sex with an insanely hot guy, I think to myself. But I have to give him something good to play for so he'll go through with it.

"How about home made pancakes every morning for two weeks?"

"That's it?" Joey squashes my attempt. "Look I'm not even getting sex at the end of the night, I need to get something out of this."

"Alright, two tickets to the next Knicks game," I propose and Joey perks up.

"And pancakes?" Joey slides in with an innocent expression.

"Alright fine," I agree and Joey's smile extends even further.

"Deal," Joey delights.


	3. Chapter 3

We're going out tonight, since it is Saturday. We go to my favorite gay bar that is always full with hot guys that normally never even look at me. I'm not sure what to expect from this night.

Joey and I walk up to the bar and order some drinks. While standing, waiting for our drinks, we decide to set some guidelines.

"So, when does the bet end, once we get a certain amount of numbers or after a certain time?" Joey asks.

I think it over, if I pick a number he may reach the amount easily and then he'll ask to leave the second he gets them. But if I say a time frame I might find a perfect moment to get out of here with a guy and then Joey thinks the bet is still going. I decide I'll leave it open ended in a sense.

"Okay, two hours is the max, but if you get too many early enough I'll just call it."

"Alright, it's on," he says as the bartender hands us our drinks.

I look at Joey to see if he's going to pay for his own drink when a man comes up behind him.

"Hey let me get this one for you, put it on my tab, Frank," the stranger calls to the bartender. Joey turns around to face the stranger.

"Hey, thanks," Joey says genuinely because usually he's the one buying drinks for women, not getting free ones himself.

"No problem, I'm Jerry," the man says and puts his hand out.

"I'm Joey!" Joey finds the similarity of their names amusing. The man laughs, already smitten with Joey.

"So, Joey you from around here, I don't think I've seen you here and I think I'd remember a face like yours," Jerry instantly flirts with him.

Joey quickly glances back at me with a smug look.

"Nope, I'm a first timer, I only know my roommate," he leans back and points at me. Jerry barely looks at me for two seconds before his eyes are back on Joey.

"Hm, yeah well I'd love to show you around. I have a great view from my apartment," Jerry assumes Joey means he's new to the city.

Joey is thrown back by his forwardness; women tend to be the opposite of forward. But he's in the game and so replies without hesitation.

"Oh wow, that would be awesome, can I get your number?" Joey asks and Jerry's face lights up.

"Sure," he says and grabs a napkin and pen from the bar. He writes down all seven digits and hands it to him.

"Thanks, I'll call you," Joey leaves it and Jerry walks away.

Joey spins around with a grin on his face.

"This may be even easier than I thought, I like this no games things. This whole direct approach will make this go a whole lot faster," Joey beams.

I knew this would happen which is why I'm only going to seek out the guys who approach Joey and pick my favorite to end this with.

* * *

Well, next thing I know Joey and I can barely round the whole bar without being stopped by a parade of hot men hitting on Joey. It's tough, I want to pick them all, but I found a guy I have my eyes on and I've picked him as my number one. When an hour is up and Joey already has nine numbers, I decide I should make it happen.

Joey and I are sitting on a couch in the corner drinking up our free drinks that guys have all bought for Joey.

"Alright, how's this, we can end this if you get a guy's number while vouching for me?"

"What, so I'm your wingman?"

"Yeah, exactly, but he's still gotta give out a phone number."

"You're on," Joey says.

I point at the guy I've been eyeing all night.

"How about him?"

"Alright, sure," Joey says.

We make our way over to the guy I've chosen. He's even better looking up close; he's practically model material. He's slim and fit and has short blonde hair. He looks right at us as we approach him.

Joey smiles at him.

"Hey, I'm Joey," he says and puts a hand out to shake.

"Hi," the stranger says, but it was barely audible. He seems a bit stunned by Joey, which I don't understand because I doubt he's shocked that someone like Joey would talk to him. He's hot enough himself to get good-looking guys all the time, I'm sure.

"I uh, was wondering if you were interested in a really good time," I'm surprised to hear Joey say. "My buddy Chandler here is a really funny, smart guy," Joey continues and squeezes one of my shoulders.

The man still looks in a trance when he finally shakes it off to speak.

"You're…you're Drake Ramoray," the dream guy finally says.

Now, I get it.

"Oh, yeah I am, you watch Days?" Joey is happily thrown off.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention my roommate Joey is on the soap opera "Days of Our Lives" as one of the doctors. Surprisingly, not many people recognize him so whenever someone does, it's like a carnival for Joey.

The guy gets giddy for a second.

"Of course, I love that show and you…you are so amazing," he flatters Joey.

"No way, thanks!" Joey gloats.

They start discussing nearly every episode in detail and again I'm completely ignored. After a little while, Joey gets up and shocks me again by saying:

"Hey, let me buy you a drink, what do you want?"

The still unnamed stranger tells him what he wants and Joey leaves before offering to buy me anything. I roll my eyes, but then again he shared at least half of the free drinks other guys bought him so I can't really complain.

I think this is my chance. I slide over to the handsome stranger and smile. He half smiles back at me.

"I just wanted to officially introduce myself, Chandler," I say and put my hand out.

"Dominick," he tells me.

"Joey's great isn't he?" I figure I'll use what I know will work.

"Yeah, so great, it's so cool you live with him," Dominick seems much more involved now. I look over to check that Joey is still at the bar and then turn back to him.

"Listen, can I let you in on a little secret?" I ask.

He looks intrigued and leans in.

"See Joey is actually straight—" I start.

"I thought so, I just figured if he's here maybe he got curious!" Dominick jumps in.

"Not totally," I say and he frowns. "But honestly, with enough alcohol he sometimes falters," I start my lies.

"You serious?" Dominick whispers excitedly.

I nod with a grin.

"I can't promise anything, but I can say if you come back to our place I think the two of us can make something happen."

Dominick nods anxiously.

Joey returns with his drink then.

"Here you go," he says.

"Thanks Joey," Dominick smiles so wide even Joey finds it a bit strange, but he's too overjoyed to have a fan drooling over him to care.

I wink at Dominick and for the first time he actually looks interested in me. He tries to hide a smirk and looks back at Joey who just sat back down next to him.

"Hey, Joey if you wouldn't mind I would love to see you reenact a scene or something, I mean if you want?" Dominick requests.

Joey of course is in love with this idea and Dominick smoothly precedes my plan without my help. After Joey agrees he follows up with, "Well, I'd really like to hear it somewhere quieter, maybe your place?"

"Yeah, sure," Joey says not even realizing it's a pick up line. He still doesn't remember this gay bar doesn't know about our bet. He quickly turns to me.

"Can we go?" He pleads.

"Alright," I pretend to look a bit saddened, like I cared about the bet at all.

We leave the bar to catch a taxi home.


	4. Chapter 4

I guess we're all a little drunk because somehow we were all hysterical laughing over the name of a street sign the whole cab ride back. We walk into our apartment still chuckling, literally over a street sign, but I'm glad the mood is super light now.

We all settle in and I grab a few beers to keep the alcohol flowing. Everyone just grabs one, not even thinking about how much alcohol we've already had, that's why I only pretend to sip mine, I want to start to sober up, even though I'm not as bad as either of them.

Joey excitedly stops the pointless laughing and conversation and says to Dominick, "Let me get a script!"

"Yes, please do!" Dominick expresses.

Joey rushes into his room, his door swinging behind him so we can't see him in his room. I look over the island at Dominick, so ready to start getting it on with him, he's so hot. I stare at the collar of his shirt, debating how easy it will be to get his cashmere sweater off.

Dominick turns back to me, I smile at him, pretending to sip my beer so he will keep drinking and he does.

"You know something…" he says to me and I'm so happy he's talking to me on his own.

"What?" I ask keenly.

"I've always wanted to try acting too. Always thought I could be an Oscar winner," his drunken confidence is a bit humorous, but I make sure not to laugh and nod enthusiastically instead.

"I bet you would be great!"

"You think so?" his beer coded breath shouts at me.

"Completely, no doubt in my mind!" I amp up.

"Oh my god, I totally could! I have to go for it; I have to at least try. That's it, tomorrow I'm finding an audition," he says like he's never been more sure of anything in his life.

"You better Dominick! I'm buying tickets to all your premieres!"

"Really, thanks!" he says excitedly and then pauses like he's forgotten everything. He sits there perplexed, then looks up at me and says, "What's your name again?"

"Chandler," I articulate.

He overly nods his head.

"Right, right, of course," he says and then turns back around to stare at Joey's door. He takes another gulp of beer.

"Hey, what do you think is taking Joey so long?" he asks while wiping beer that spilled from his mouth.

"Uh, I don't know I can go check," I say and walk to Joey's bedroom.

I push the slightly ajar door and find Joey passed out on his bed. I smile because this is beyond perfect for my plan. I was expecting him to pass out eventually, he's not great when he's plastered and this has probably been too much excitement for him, free drinks along with having a super fan gush over him all night. I turn back to Dominick who's now distracted with something on our wall.

"Psst," I call to him and he snaps back to me. "It doesn't look good."

Dominick hurries over and looks into Joey's room, seeing what happened.

"Oh man! Now I'll never hear Dr. Drake Ramoray in person!" Dominick whines.

"Hey now, don't give up. Maybe he'll wake up in an hour. I have a great idea. Why don't we run lines? I run with lines with Joey all the time, so I bet it would be great practice for your future acting career!"

"Oh my god, you would do that? Let's do it!"

"I'll get a script, why don't you sit on the couch?"

Dominick heads to the couch and I look at Joey's stash of scripts that he was originally coming to get. I scurry through them to find any with a kiss or love scene. I finally find something and rush back out. I hand Dominick his copy, he takes it eagerly. He looks at the script.

"Don't worry, I'm always the girl for Joey," I explain since there's only two characters.

We start reading and he is so drunkingly into it, it's great. Finally we are coming up to the kiss scene.

"I've only ever wanted you," Dominick reads and then sees that the script now reads: (he passionately kisses her). He pauses reading this note and I don't have to time to see if he'll go through with it, so instead of waiting for him, I lean in and press my lips to his. He freezes when I let his lips go, I think it was a mix of the surprise and a bit of not knowing what just happened, thanks to his intoxication. I let the script drop out of my hands and lean in again. I kiss him slower this time, lingering with each kiss and running my hand over his neck. After this kiss, he looks like he wants to say something, but he either decides against it or maybe he forgets it. He leans in and kisses me back.

We head to my bedroom. I let out a silent _yes!_ while shaking my fist before closing my bedroom door and joining him in my bed.

* * *

The next morning I wake up next to Dominick's pretty face. I smile, full of joy from last night and that fact that my plan actually worked, that I bedded someone as hot as Dominick. I run the back of my hand against his cheek gently. His eyes open slowly.

"Hey," I smile at him.

He takes a large breath in and looks at me uneasily.

"Oh right," he says which stings.

"Morning to you too," I say in a slightly offended tone.

He sighs, literally sighs at me.

"You want breakfast?" I keep pretending he's not being an ass right now. He gives me a sad look then.

"Look…Chandler right?"

I nod, really pissed he's about to blow me off right now.

"I only came back with you cause you told me there might be a chance with Joey and then last night I was really _really_ drunk," he burns me with the second really.

God, he's being horrible right now and I should just let him leave, I shouldn't see a guy like him, but I love the idea of being with someone so hot. I mean sex is great whenever I can get it, but with someone like Dominick it was hot on a different level. Because I was always so turned on by him being so attractive, not just the physical doings of sex that could get anyone going eventually. And he also happened to be really good in bed as well.

"Alright look last night we missed our chance, but if you ever want to you know just hang out with 'Drake Ramoray' maybe we can still get something going," I whisper impishly.

He looks like he's considering it.

"Come on, just hang around, go out with us another night, come over again — we can always give it a try and no harm done" I convince him.

"Alright," he agrees.

We both get up and head out to the kitchen to grab some food. In about ten minutes Joey stumbles out of his room, still in his clothes from the night before. He's rubbing his forehead with a pained expression.

"I think I drank too much last night."

He walks over and sees Dominick and me. He gives a look of remembrance and then says, "Oh, we never got to do the scene!"

He's actually bummed.

"That's okay, I was thinking maybe we could hang out again sometime. Chandler and I were talking about next Friday," Dominick tells him of our plan.

"Oh okay, that sounds good," Joey says.

"Well, I think I'm gonna get going. I have a dog I need to get out," Dominick informs us in a disappointed voice, like he doesn't want to leave now that Joey is here.

"And find an audition," I suddenly reference at him. Dominick gives me a strange look until he remembers why I would say that. He suddenly gives a forced smile and his cheeks blush with embarrassment.

"You're an actor too?" Joey inquires cheerfully.

"Uh no, it was… a joke," he says and grabs his coat then.

"I really got to go, but I really hope to see you again," he speaks directly to Joey.

He walks over to Joey and hugs him. Joey wasn't expecting this, but puts one arm around him and gives him a pat on the back. Dominick lets him go and walks out giving me nothing more than a nod.

"He's cool," Joey comments to me.

"You just like him because he's a fan."

"So?" Joey shrugs and goes to fridge to find something for his head.

He grabs a frozen bag of peas and holds it against his head.

"Well, when we decide on what we want to do Friday I'll give Dominick a call."

"Who?" Joey says dumbfounded.

I put my hand over my eyes.

"Yeah, you know technically I got his number, not you."

I asked for it this morning after we agreed to get together again.

"Oh, that's his name?" Joey ignores me.

I shake my head.

"Whatever, I still won," Joey finally responds to what I said.

Really, I won. The whole point of the game was to get me laid and boy did I, but the less Joey knows the better.


	5. Chapter 5

As the following week goes on, I start calling Dominick about our plans with Joey. I always keep the conversations going though and we end up just taking the two of us. I don't expect Dominick to fall in love with me or anything I just want him to like me enough that he'll keep sleeping with me when trying with Joey fails.

And again my plan works perfectly. Dominick suggests we go to a simple dinner for our second outing, I guess because it will just be the three of us, but there can still be alcohol to impair Joey's judgment. Dominick orders drinks for all of us, which was pretty great. I guess he wasn't counting on Joey hitting on our waitress, which I could have saw coming a mile away. Maybe I could have warned him, but obviously I didn't.

Joey doesn't even come home with us; he stays to wait for our waitress's shift to end. Dominick and I catch a taxi. Maybe it's the alcohol we ingested or maybe he's horny, but just as I want, Dominick looks at me and decides to settle again. He comes back to the apartment with me and I reintroduce him to my bedroom.

* * *

The next week, Dominick makes his third attempt to get Joey. He makes plans for a wine tasting or something with more alcohol, I don't even pay that much attention anymore, I'm always just trying to think of a segway to get him to stay on the phone and talk with me. Well, this time Joey bails on us last minute because some girl asked him out. I want to beam with joy, but I keep it in and deliver the news to Dominick with sorrow. Again, Dominick decides he might as well hang out with me, and I don't mean with clothes!

I know I'm being a bit of a slut lately, but really when has this ever happened to me? Gay or not I never got the good looking one and now an incredibly handsome guy is willing to sleep with me. Sure I led him on with a lie, but who cares, why can't I milk this for all it's worth!

* * *

So, I still don't say anything when Dominick calls again to make plans for the three of us. I keep wondering when he'll give up, but I try not to think about it.

This time he has a club planned for us. I don't see how's he's going to keep Joey away from girls unless he tricks him into a gay club?

We arrive at a club and it's no gay club, in fact it's crawling with women. I think Dominick has a plan though because the second we get there, Dominick brings up 'Days of Our Lives' and he has Joey's full attention. I go to get us drinks and Dominick gives me a huge look of approval.

Unfortunately, the plan doesn't last too long. We go through about two drinks before Joey eventually escapes to a girl. We watch him from a distance hit on her mercilessly.

"Hey, sorry it hasn't worked out," I finally say to him. He looks at me disappointingly.

"I guess I should have known. I mean it's got to be pure luck to trick a straight guy like him into fooling around, huh?"

"I guess," I reply. "I thought it could be easy, especially when I saw you were a fan, Joey is always thrilled to meet fans."

"Yeah, I could tell. Well, at least I got to meet him and hang out with him, that's still pretty cool," Dominick gleams.

"Yeah, I'm glad."

He nods and looks at me.

"Hey, so has it…has it _ever_ happened with you two?" he suddenly asks me.

I freeze, what should I do? Lie and say I've done stuff with Joey or would it make more sense if this would have been a first for me too? Luckily, right as he's about to get suspicious another man comes over to us. He looks at Dominick, introducing himself. Dominick gets up and starts chatting with the man. Of course, they would only notice him, I think as I sit alone.

* * *

After about an hour I'm getting pretty bored and decide to start looking for Joey. I can't find him anywhere until I wonder if he left, that's when I see large curtains in two corners of the club. I realize they're private rooms and now I'm curious if he's in there.

I decide to sneak in a curtain. I only take a few steps before I see the worst sight in my life. I see Joey lying on the floor, with a bloody face. I run over and fall beside him.

"Joey!" I shriek at the sight of my friend with a bloody temple and black eye.

"Oh my god, Joey! Joey can you hear me?" I start shaking him and I feel tears rushing to the backs of my eyes. I listen to his chest, he's breathing, which gives me a moment of relief, but my best friend is unconscious on the floor oh god, oh god! My head is spinning, what do I do?

"Joey! Joey, come on buddy!" I yell.

"Help, someone call 911!" I yell, but no one can hear me. I feel tears burning my eyes now and I'm panicking. I don't know why, but I lower my head to his, hugging him. And suddenly I just keep kissing him maybe because I'm trying to kiss the pain away or maybe because a tiny part of me thinks this might be my last chance to ever kiss him. Not his lips, just all around his face, his forehead, his cheeks, his jaw line and temples and all over, again and again.

Then I feel movement below me and see Joey's face cringing in pain. He starts to wake up and I quickly brush my tears away.

"Joey!" I cheer.

"Chandler?"

"Yeah, Joe it's me! What happened to you? You're bleeding, you were unconscious!"

He begins to attempt to get up. I try to help him, grabbing his arms and backing up a bit so he has room. He puts his hand to his temple in pain.

"I think uh, I think she was taken," he says.

"Huh?" I don't understand his answer.

"I uh, I hit on some girl and her huge boyfriend knocked me out," he grumbles.

I shake my head, not caring now, I'm just too happy to see him conscious and talking.

"Alright, let's get you out of here and get you ice for that eye," I say, helping him to his feet.

"I really have to pee first," Joey says and I roll my eyes.

"Alright, just hurry and don't get punched in there."

He tries to glare at me, but it hurts his eye and I instantly apologize for making the joke.

He goes to the bathroom and I wait outside the door for him.

Dominick finds me then

"Hey, we have to go," I tell him.

"Yeah, you and Joey to go make out without me?"

"What?" I respond, flabbergasted.

"I saw you okay!" Dominick looks genuinely angry at me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Kissing him, _you_! You were kissing Joey, on the floor!"

I shake my head with disbelief.

"Did you _see_ him!" I shout at him.

"Of course I saw him, I should have known you guys had a thing going on without me! Why did you even lead me on?"

"No, we don't—"

"Oh sure, you guys are that close and _just friends_!" he spits at me.

My mouths drops in frustration. I can't believe this, another one, why does everyone think I'm dating Joey!

"_What_! Oh my god—" I start, but Joey comes out of the bathroom then and Dominick looks at him in horror.

"Oh my god, what happened to you!" Dominick cries. "Did you do this to him?" Dominick yells at me.

"What, no!" I scream.

Wow, I seriously can't take this guy right now.

"What do you guys do it that rough or something?" Dominick accuses me again.

"What?" Joey asks out of confusion.

"No! Some guy knocked Joey out cause he hit on his girlfriend. Nothing is going on Dominick! You know what, I think you should just go, and forget all of this," I finally snap at him. He looks at me, realizing what I'm really ending.

"Fine, bye," he growls and leaves without even saying goodbye to Joey, which would surprise me if I wasn't so unbelievably angry at him right now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: **Thank you to everyone who's reading and everything who left reviews. I think this chapter is the most dialogue I've ever written.

* * *

Joey and I don't talk much the ride home because we're both more focused on Joey's black eye. He's still in pain and bleeding a bit. When we get home I grab a bag of frozen peas for his eye as I go grab something to clean his cuts with.

I come back out of the bathroom with some cream to prevent infections and a wet towel. We didn't have any alcohol to clean his cut, but I don't know that's totally necessary anyway.

Joey's sitting on the bar stool with the bag of frozen vegetables to his eye. He removes it slowly while I crouch down to clean the small cuts on his temple.

"So, did you really offend this guy that much?" I ask as I gently dab the cuts.

He shrugs slightly, trying not to move too much.

"I guess it doesn't take much to offend him, I was just flirting, I didn't say anything that bad."

I put down the wet towel now and go to get some cream.

"By the way…" Joey starts as I get some cream on a Q-tip and start dabbing it on.

"Were you crying?"

I freeze, feeling my face flush red.

"What — no," I try to say convincingly, but I doubt it worked.

"Even through this," he points to his eye, "I thought your eyes looked watery.".

"I really don't think so, maybe yours were tearing," I attempt to swing it around on him, but who am I kidding, I'm way too obvious.

"Don't worry Chandler, it's fine you care so much about me," Joey continues jauntily. "I care about you too, I mean I don't know that I would cry over a little bar fight, but I would be concerned for you too," he says half genuinely and half mocking me. He ends with a grin even though I'm sure it stings his eye.

"Whatever," I say and quietly add, "I was not crying."

I don't think he even heard me, not that it matters.

I was pretty embarrassed over the crying until I remember that I was kissing Joey. It hits me in this moment and suddenly I've never been so relieved in my life that Joey was only making fun of me for a few tears. I wonder what he would have said if he remembered or realized I was kissing him seconds before he woke up. I mean I know it wasn't on the lips or anything, but still…we don't kiss each other on the cheek; we do with the girls, but not each other.

I back away, too mortified by my realization, Joey doesn't even notice though. He just gets up cause I'm done with cleaning his cut.

"Thanks," he says and goes over to the freezer to throw the peas back in and then finds some Tylenol in the cabinet.

"Hey, so you okay? I was gonna head to bed," I say to Joey.

"Yeah, I'm fine thanks."

I head to bed, trying to calm my head down from this crazy night.

* * *

The following Monday, I'm at work all the day, just waiting to get home. It's one of those slow days, where I don't want to be there at all.

I come home after a long day and find Joey just sitting on one of the lounge chairs.

"Uh, hey," I say, kind of weirded out by him sitting in silence.

"Hey," hey states.

I start putting my stuff down and looking for something to eat. Joey walks over to the island. I glance over and see him lean onto the counter.

"Hey, listen, I was thinking… remember at the club when Dominick was talking to you outside the bathroom, before we left?"

I freeze, midway in the fridge. I can't move, but I hope he thinks I'm still looking for food.

What do I say? I can't admit to Joey I pawned him off for a gay threesome so I could get laid. He will kill me or definitely never be my friend again.

"Mh?" I blabber and grab any drink so I can come up with something.

"Before we left, he said something about we do something rough? What was he even talking about?" Joey tries to remember Dominick's words.

"He…he said…." I stumble over my words, trying to decide between playing dumb, lying, or just running away.

"He said _what_?" My voice rises to an extreme high.

Joey's eyebrows rise at my pitch.

"He said it after accusing you of hitting me, which I also don't get, what even happened?" Joey is trying to piece everything together and now I really must be sweating.

"You know, I don't really remember," I lie, still not able to shake my high-pitched tone.

"Why is your voice so high?"

"I…don't know," I grumble my last words so I sound somewhat like a man.

"Anyway, he asked you if you gave me the black eye and then said something about doing it rough?" Joey tries to jog my memory, but I know far too well every word that was said and exactly what it all means.

I just kind of shrug and look away as if I'm trying to think back.

"I really don't remember."

"That's weird, because Dominick remembers."

My blood just froze, my breath cuts short. I can't say anything.

"Yeah, he called today and asked me how serious me and you were…I uh didn't know we were together," he explains to me nonchalantly.

Oh god, someone please kill me, this can't be happening.

I stare at him for too long and he doesn't break so I finally cringe and give in.

I let my head fall with shame.

"Fine, I may have mislead him," I nearly whisper the truth under my breath.

"Why did you lie?" Joey asks me.

"I didn't, technically I just didn't volunteer the right information."

Joey glares at me.

"Okay, sorry. It's just I can never score a guy as good looking as Dominick, but with you it seemed possible… if I fudged the truth a little bit," I apologize.

"But what would you have done if I was plastered and he started coming onto me?" Joey protests.

I pause for a moment, not answering, because honestly, if Joey did get drunk enough that Dominick could convince him, I can't even say I would have opposed actually going through with it.

"_Chandler_?" Joey suddenly stresses.

"What, no," I spit out.

"You would have let him do things to me if I was that drunk?" Joey worriedly questions me.

"No, I wouldn't just _let_ him," I say because I know Dominick wouldn't have forced it, the point was to trick Joey into agreeing and going through with it willingly. But he doesn't have to know that.

"Well, then why did you have to tell him you and me had a thing?" He continues questioning me.

"I didn't, no. He just assumed we did, since I was the one who proposed this whole idea."

"He said he saw you kissing me?"

Now, my chest hurts. Honestly, could this get any worse? I thought I was out of the wood work. I thought I had gotten away with everything and got a few nights of good sex out of this whole thing. And now every little detail and stupid mistake is coming back to haunt me.

"Not on the mouth!" I horribly defend myself, but then realize that probably sounds worse.

"Not anywhere else either, I meant just your like face."  
I force myself to stop because I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet and Joey is just standing there with a dumbfound expression, I threw him off guard.

He looks like he's trying to make sense of this all or even comprehend what I just said. He closes his eye for a second and puts his hand to his temple as if my words are causing his eye to sting again.

"Wait, you actually kissed me, _when_?"

"You were unconscious, at the club ….I'm sorry, I panicked!" I reason.

"So, you kissed me?" He's baffled.

"I…I didn't know what to do okay, you were unconscious and hurt."

"I'm not sleeping beauty, a kiss isn't going to do the trick," he retorts, which sounds harsh even though he's referencing a Disney princess.

"I'm…sorry," I choke a bit under my breath.

His face softens after this and he looks like he feels bad, like he really hurt me.

"It just seems weird, is all," he speaks softer now too.

"I know, it was wrong," I respond firmly.

Joey weighs his head back and forth, like he has to apologize.

"It's not that _wrong, _I just… I don't know…"

He's acting like he's trying not to embarrass me or something, I'm the one who did it, he didn't do anything, but get knocked unconscious.

"No, you're right it was weird and I'm sorry," I tell him.

He just looks at me and nods. I don't get why he feels so bad I mean yeah he kind of made a demeaning comment, but he can admit he's not okay with this.

"It's fine — I'm gonna head to bed," he says and I'm scared this is it for us, that tomorrow we'll wake up and forever it'll be weird and awkward between us. I can't say anything with these fears running through my brain, so I just let him walk past me without saying another word.


	7. Chapter 7

Somehow we recover, I think it's because Joey decides the best way to deal with it is to not. I assume that he has decided to never mention it again, because he doesn't. I guess what is there left to talk about? I admitted and apologized to everything. And whether it was genuine or not he did say the words "it's fine". So, I happily go along with never speaking of the whole fiasco.

Unfortunately, I don't realize how difficult it is to escape the fear. For the next week, everytime we're with the gang I'm so scared he's going to mention it for some reason. I sit on Monica's couch or sip my coffee at the Central Perk and everytime Joey talks I stiffen. I just wait for him to call me out and embarrass me in front of our friends.

But he never does, they all still have no idea and although the nerves never fully shake off, I start becoming more thankful than fearful when I'm around Joey. I guess he was really that uncomfortable with it all. I thought he would use it against me. Maybe it's because he would share some of the humiliation or maybe he honestly wants to erase the memory. Whatever his reason is, I'm finally getting used to the fact that he's not going to spill the beans to everyone.

We're also still pretty normal. Joey treats me the same and I don't sense any unusual behavior from him, which I couldn't be more grateful for.

Until, one Friday night Joey asks Ross to hang out and they don't invite me. I find out they're going to a club and I wonder if Joey purposely didn't invite me because of what happened. He never actually told me, I overheard from the girls they were going, it's hard to keep secrets with such a tight knit group like ours.

* * *

As Joey is waiting for Ross to come by so they can leave for the club, I decide I'm okay with this. If not being able to go to some clubs or a bar with Joey is all I have to give up, then that's fine. It's better than not having him as a friend at all.

I hear the phone ring and I think its Ross. Joey's asking where he is and then is asking why and sounds disappointed. I'm caught up pretty quick.

I head out to the living room to confirm my assumption.

"Hey Joe," I say and go to the fridge so it seems like I walked out here for a reason.

"Hey," he sighs.

"What's up?" I ask.

He looks at me and takes a second. I bet he's deciding whether to tell me or not.

He finally lets out a long breath and tells me.

"Ross and I were gonna go out tonight and he just cancelled on me."

"Aw, that's too bad," I try to react realistically, as if I didn't know already.

"Yeah," he says and pauses. I wait.

"Do you…uh want to go?" he actually invites me. I thought he might even go by himself.

"Okay sure," I say.

I'm hoping by going I can prove I'm not going to ever put him in a bad situation again. I want to try to make him comfortable going anywhere with me again.

* * *

It ends up, I don't have to try hard at all because when we get to the club, I lose Joey in about twenty minutes. I don't see him most of the night.

I sense pretty soon that I doubt there's many gay guys here, seeing that the ratio of girls to guys is extremely uneven and so pretty much all of the guys here are crawling over the women.

I try to make small talk, but it's not very enjoyable. People aren't even being that friendly.

A few hours pass and I decide I'm leaving. I'm not even drunk, I only had maybe two or three drinks.

I go to find Joey to tell him I'm leaving. I finally find him ordering another drink at one of the bars. He looks pretty drunk already. I tap him on the arm and he's very happy to see me.

He's at the point now where his words are slurring and he's not doing himself any good so I cancel his drink and I tell him we have to go home.

He argues at first, but I convince him basically by dragging him out of there.

We get home and I have to half hold him for him to keep his balance and to make sure he doesn't wander off.

"Alright I'm putting you to bed," I demand, walking him to his room.

"Putting me to bed? Hey I may be drunk, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you do ssstuff," he drunkenly sermons me.

Oh god, I thought we were never going to bring this up? I knew I should have listened to my gut, I knew he would mention it again someday; I just finally convinced myself it wouldn't be so soon.

I know he's pretty smashed, but I feel awkward now that it's in the air again. I don't respond and hope he forgets.

I walk him to his bed, with my arm around him, while he leans against me. I let go and let him fall onto his own bed. I just want to get out of here, I feel like anything I do or say he's make fun of me and accuse me of trying to come on to him.

"Okay, sleep tight."

"Chandler, wait I was kidding!" he tries reaching out for me, but doesn't have to strength to lift his body. He's only partly propped up on his side.

"You need to sleep now Joe."

"No, come on, I'm not tired! Why don't you call Dominick and try… your _dirty_ plan," he whispers naughtily and although it's more than evident he's taunting me, I'm a little turned on by hearing him actually say this, but at the same time it make my face burn red.

"No, Joe I already apologized okay, I wouldn't have let him do anything to you," I tell him clearly.

"Yeah, that chick wouldn't let me do anything eitherrr," he admits woozily out of nowhere.

"Well, there's always next time," I oddly say.

"Next time? I'm horny now," he whines and I'm unsure of how to respond to this surprising honestly. Me and Joey never talked like this even before I was out. I guess he's that intoxicated.

At this point, he tries to sit up, but he's having difficultly. He turns the other way I guess to venture towards his pillow at the top of the bed, but he nearly falls over himself.

"Okay, careful," I tell him and lean over the bed to make sure he doesn't land poorly, twisting his wrist or something. He laughs like a child. I sit on his bed. He sits back on his knees and he looks at me funny.

"What?" I nearly laugh. Now I find it kind of funny, he's acting crazy.

"I just like you, I like you Chandler… as my best friend, don't get annny ideas…" he remarks.

"Don't worry, I'm not," I assure him.

"He inhales the largest breath of his life before continuing.

"I was thinking…" he starts.

He tries to move closer to me, but basically falls on top of me.

"Alright," I say catching him and trying to push him up again.

"Can we do some to—night?" he asks.

"What?" I choke out. I have no idea what he means and now so many things are racing through my mind.

"Do something, I'm bored," He complains to me.

Now, I realize what he meant and oddly I'm very disappointed he just wanted something to entertain him. I guess I shouldn't have jumped to anything sexual, especially with Joey.

He's in no state to do anything so I fully push him off me and help guide him onto his back so he's actually lying on his bed.

"You need to sleep," I stress and helps him rest his head on his pillow.

"I need to take these off!" He suddenly squirms like a kid and hurries to get his pants off. I back up, off his bed so that I'm not touching him. I watch him throw his pants off. I see a bulge through his boxer briefs and widen my eyes. I figure I should get out of here if he's going to take care of that. I quickly exit his room and shut his door without saying anything. Although, I didn't see him move much on my way out, so I think he might have already fallen asleep. I stand outside his doorway, frozen.

I'm not about to admit to myself that I'm thinking about my roommate, my friend Joey, and getting turned on.

It's not happening, I run into my room and try to block all these thoughts out.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day, I wake up and head out to the kitchen. I guess Joey's not up yet and I wonder if he will remember last night or even if, chose to mention it.

I'm at the island, eating cereal when Joey emerges from his room. He walks over and makes himself a bowl of cereal too.

"Hey," he says groggily as he pours his cereal.

"Hey."

He sits down on the bar stool next to me and starts eating. Then after a large spoonful he looks at me and says,

"What happened last night?"

I shrug.

"Not much, I dragged you out of the bar 'cause you were plastered and put you in your room and then you took your pants off and passed out," I sum up, leaving out his specific words and of course my weird feelings about it all.

"Oh, that's why I was wearing underwear, I was wondering why."

I shake my head; only Joey would find it weird to wake up clothed rather than naked.

In another minute, Rachel walks through our door.

"Hey guys!"

"Hey," we both respond.

"Chandler, do I have a surprise for you," Rachel playfully points at me.

I raise my eyebrows with uncertainty.

"What is it?"

"I found someone for you! He's great, easy on the eyes and he says he loves a sense of humor!"

"Really, where'd you meet him?"

"Work of course, he came in for clothes and needed a personal assistant."

"And you're sure he's gay?" I clarify.

"Yes, more than sure, he told me himself," she cheers, like this was some game she won.

"And he's actually easy on the eyes, that's not just a line to mask that he's hideous?"

"No, he's good-looking. I mean maybe not stunning, but he is definitively cute, very cute, I swear," Rachel states confidently.

"Alright, fine I'll meet him," I attest.

"Good because you're already having brunch with him tomorrow," Rachel merrily tells me.

"_Rachel_," I put my arms out.

"Oh, come on, you guys are gonna be a match made in heaven," she sways her hand at me. "You're meeting at Ollie's Day Brunch at eleven."

I roll my eyes at her and return to my cereal.

"Hey, Rach you got anyone for me at work?" Joey chimes in.

"No honey, because I want to have friends and not be hated because their date Joey never called them back," Rachel smirks knowingly at him. He frowns.

"Hey, you don't know that."

She lowers her head even more at him. He turns to me for some assistance, but I shake my head.

"Hey, I only have evidence of one night stands, sorry buddy" I raise my hands in a joking surrender.

"Alright, whatever you guys," Joey pouts and goes back to his cereal.

* * *

The next day, I meet Rachel's guy from work. His name is Chris and I will admit he's cute. He's very cute, like Rachel said, but it takes me all about four seconds to learn one thing; he's blind. Now, it's not that I have a problem with dating a blind guy, but I kind of have a problem with Rachel thinking this is the perfect guy to set me up with. Why, because he can't see me? Is she saying I could never get this guy if he could see what I looked like?

I try not to let these assumptions wreck the date because Chris is also sweet and interesting, but I can't shake the thoughts. I keep wondering how different everything would be if he wasn't blind. He probably wouldn't be single and would be dating a guy much hotter than me. I'm glad he can't see my face because as much as I try to listen and carry on our conversations I'm probably making a ton of faces, thinking of how he would probably ditch me if he could see.

Halfway through the date, he excuses himself to go to the bathroom. I start to scold myself for getting so caught up in a possibly that's not real. I finally decide I'm being ridiculous, even if Rachel setting me up with a blind guy is kind of a blow, I shouldn't be so certain he would not date a guy like me. I mean I'm not that bad, I'm cute, I have good hair, a slim frame and I'm funny. That's when I turn everything around, which is good because when I turn the charm back on I can tell Chris is having a much better time now. I also know because at the end of the date he says to me, "Wow Chandler I had a great time. You know I wasn't so sure at first, but I guess you got a lot more comfortable about halfway through our meal, you're so funny."

I smile so bright.

"Thanks Chris, I had a really good time too."

We head outside and I turn to him.

"Hey you need any help getting home?" I ask.

"Nah, I have a ride, thank you though."

"Oh, okay well I was gonna catch a cab then," I say wondering if I should wait for his ride or what.

"Okay, hey here's my number, I hope to hear from you again," he tells me and hands me a piece of paper from his pocket with his number written on it.

"You got these ready to go?" I joke.

He chuckles.

"Actually yeah, it's much smoother this way," he smiles.

I'm wondering if I should kiss him or if he'll kiss me. I decide I don't want to kiss him yet, because we're outside on a street and he wouldn't see it coming, so I don't want to put him on the spot. I wait a few more seconds to see if he'll lean in, but he doesn't.

"Okay, then great. I'm gonna head down to the corner to catch a cab," I tell him since it's way easier to get one from there.

"Okay, bye Chandler."

"Bye," I say and start walking away.

I wonder how Chris even judges whether he wants to kiss someone or not. I guess it's all personality. I wonder how many dates he'll wait to find a good moment.

* * *

I call Chris the next day at work. Right after I dial his number I worry it might be a bit soon, but he is more than okay with it and we end up having the best conversation. We end up talking for an hour until my boss kicks me off the phone and calls me into a meeting. Before hanging up, we quickly plan to see each other again at the end of the week. Now, I can't wait to see him.

I come home from work in such a good mood. I just keep thinking about Chris. I stop across the hall to thank Rachel for setting us up.

"Rachel I love you! Chris is amazing."

"Oh yay!" she claps happily.

"It went well?" Monica inquires from the kitchen.

"It went so well and I called him today and we're seeing each other again this weekend."

"Wow, see I knew he was great!" Rachel boasts.

Thunder suddenly booms outside the window.

"Oh, is there a storm?" Monica wonders aloud and walks to the window.

It's starting to pour now.

"Oh wow, is it supposed to get bad tonight?" Rachel asks.

"I don't know, I didn't listen to the weather," Monica answers.

"Yeah I think I heard something about a thunderstorm," I jump in.

Rachel looks away from the window and back at me.

"Oh so what are you going to do this weekend?"

"A proper dinner date," I smirk.

"Oh how exciting!"

"Yeah, he's so nice and he's pretty funny himself," I say.

"See Mon, I do a great job fixing people up," Rachel calls from the couch.

"Alright, well I'm gonna go see if we have any dinner," I say and get up.

"Oh, here just take some lasagna over," Monica hurries to the fridge to hand me some leftovers in a tray.

"Thanks Mon," I smile and bring it across the hall.

* * *

I walk in and the sky booms with thunder again making me jump for a second. Joey turns around in the lounge chair, after turning off the TV.

"Oh hey, you have food!" Joey excitedly jumps up.

"Yep, Monica's leftovers."

Joey dashes to the counter like a kid who's parents don't feed him.

"What _were_ you gonna do for dinner?" I ask as I cut the last of the lasagna into two pieces and get a plate to heat them up on.

"I don't know, I didn't think that far ahead," he says.

I shake my head at him with a smile.

"Why are you always shaking your head at me lately?"

"'Cause you're ridiculous. It's already 6:30 Joe, there's not much more time to _think_ _ahead_."

"Well, now I don't have to!"

I stick the plate in the microwave and set it for two minutes. Joey basically watches it the entire time as I grab two beers from the fridge.

It beeps and I go to check it, it's only half warm so I set it again. Only thirty more seconds in there's another loud shock of thunder and suddenly all the lights go out. The microwave stops and Joey and I are left in a dark apartment.

"Oh man, couldn't it wait till our food was heated up!" Joey whines. I take the plate out and only one side of each piece is warm at all, it's really uneven. I can barely see though and Joey offers to go find some light. He finds two candles and one flashlight. We set up the little light we have around the kitchen.

"Well, we can try heating it up on the stove?" I suggest.

"Eh, let's just eat," Joey says and pulls the plate over to him. I grab another plate and sit on the barstool next to him. I slide one of the pieces onto my plate and we start eating.

Joey devours his piece long before I finish mine. He looks over at me as I still have about half of my piece.

"How was it?" I ask.

"Pretty cold, how's yours?"

"It's not bad."

"You know we should finish the ice cream, we don't know how long the power will be out," Joey advises like ice cream is that crucial. He gets up and walks to the freezer.

"I haven't even finished my dinner," I say.

"Well, you're too slow," he says and grabs the ice cream quickly out of the freezer. We have less than half the carton left and it's our last one. Joey grabs a spoon and starts eating from the container.

"Well, I guess we're sharing now," I mock his lack of a bowl.

"Who said anything about sharing?" Joey smirks.

"Hey come on, don't hog it," I say and ditch the last third of my lasagna to lunge for the ice cream. Joey pulls away so I can't reach over the counter. I slouch back down with my fork as if I'm going to go back to my food. Really, I'm waiting for Joey to walk past me since I know he'll want to move away from me and enjoy it in one of the lounge chairs. He starts to shift towards the island but keeps a distance so I don't get any ideas.

I stand up and Joey tries to escape past me, knowing I'll have him cornered if I get around the island. But I swing my arms around his torso as he tries to pass me. He spins around and drops to the ground so that he can be sure he doesn't drop the ice cream. I still have my arms around his torso and so I fall down with him and we're against the end of the island. I release my arms and Joey keeps his grip on the ice cream.

He turns away from me with the ice cream carton secured in his opposite arm. He takes his spoon again and keeps digging in.

"Joe, come on let me have some, stop being a child."

"A child? You're the one who just chased me to the ground for ice cream!"

"Well, I wouldn't have if you would have just shared in the first place."

I sit while he continues to eat the ice cream. I know he's too strong for me to attempt taking it from him, but I'm getting frustrated. Sometimes, Joey is really like a brother I never had and so the fact that he's going to finish all the ice cream really bother me, even though this is all so stupid. So I spring over him and grasp for the ice cream, but my body weight ends up pushing down on him and we tumble over. The ice cream, partly melted, not only spills out but gets on us as well. We each have ice cream on our shirts and somewhere on our faces. There's very little still frozen in the container.

"Aw, the ice cream," Joey pushes himself up from the floor to see the mess. I sit up too and see ice cream on Joey's nose and cheeks.

I sneer at him.

"What?" he asks about my odd snicker.

I point at his face.

"You got ice cream on you."

He wipes his face and then licks his hand. I make a disgusted face and he shrugs at me.

"Hey, how else is it gonna get off?"

"A napkin?" I recommend.

He smirks at me.

"Then you better should find one, cause you got it all over your face too," he says.

"I doubt I have it _all over_, I think I would feel it," I respond pompously.

"No, you do, you have it here," he says and reaches over to poke my cheek.

"And here," he pokes my chin next.

"And here," he wipes a bit off my cheek bone and then licks his finger again.

My eyes widen for a second and I bite my lip.

"You just licked ice cream off of me."

Joey looks at me.

"No, I didn't, I got some on my finger and ate it," he says, making it no longer sound hot at all.

I want to shut up before I make more of an ass of myself, but I can't help but ask something I'm suddenly curious about.

"Have you uh…ever had a girl… lick stuff off of you?" I awkwardly ask, but Joey isn't uncomfortable with the question at all.

"_Yeah_," he claims proudly. "It's awesome."

He looks down at his messy shirt and then looks back up at me when I haven't said anything.

"Haven't you?" he probes.

I pretend to think it over for a second, but I know my answer. I shake my head no.

"I mean a guy," Joey corrects himself thinking I'm answering to the female subject I used.

I press my lips together, feeling like a prude. Joey looks a little surprised.

"Oh, well you should definitely try that."

I nod and look down wishing I could ever have the courage to just ask someone to lick stuff off of me. I bet Joey doesn't even have to ask.

"I guess we should clean this up," I say and get up.

"Wait, you have to finish your ice cream," Joey says and holds up the carton with the ice cream that didn't spill out. I'm dazed by this sweet gesture that I don't take it from him right away. So, he stands up and gets a clean spoon and then properly hands me the container and spoon. I smile and take them from him.

"Thanks."

I enjoy my ice cream while Joey wipes the floor with some paper towels.


	9. Chapter 9

When Friday finally comes I'm so excited. My date with Chris has arrived! Chris and I go to dinner and again we have a great time. Him and I mesh so well together. He laughs at all my jokes and I laugh with him about the funny stories he shares. We just always have stuff to talk about, it's great.

I'm really hoping he's going to kiss me at the end of the night. I catch a ride with him to his house and walk him to his door. So maybe I'm the one who should be initiating the kiss but the main reason I drove him home was because I'm a little worried about him going home himself. Even though I'm sure he has it down since he must be in his early thirties like me. And also, like I thought the last time, I feel like if I make the move, he might be unprepared for it.

We walk up the last step of his stoop to his apartment, which I'm already pretty jealous of. He must have a really great job to have this little place all to himself.

I stand in front of him and try not to breathe too loudly because I'm sure his hearing is much more keen, at least that's what I heard about losing one sense.

"So, I had a really great time," I say.

"Me too Chandler, you're a great time."

"You too, Chris. Can I call you again _too_ soon?" I laugh so it could be a joke if he finds what I said super lame.

He chuckles at me.

"I would like that."

I wait, he's still not leaning in and I'm just blatantly staring at his lips.

I should just do it, I should just lean in I tell myself. I take a small gulp, again trying to keep it unheard. I start to lean in so slowly I doubt snails move this slow.

"Just kiss me already," Chris interjects with a grin. He knew, oh my god, how does he do that? I freeze, and he leans in the rest of the way. His lips are smooth and he kisses me slow, a slow romantic kiss. He lets his lips gently fall off mine and my eyes stay closed as I'm living the kiss over again. I'm glad he can't see how long my eyes remain closed because I don't even realize until his voice brings me back to reality and I pop my eyes open again.

"Goodnight Chandler," he speaks.

"Good—goodnight," I falter and he unlocks his door and then leaves me on his stoop. I'm just standing there, still reeling a bit from the kiss, but also a bit disappointed it's all I'm getting. Truthfully, this is truly slow for me, well since I came out. For women I waited weeks to get any action, but since I started dating guys one or both of us were always up for putting out either the first or definitely second date. I know I can't be mad at Chris for taking it slow, but it sucks because I already like him more than any guy I've dated and he's the only one making me suffer. I wonder if maybe he's holding off because he really likes me too. I know that's what a lot of women used to say, that if you actually like them, you wait. Well, I'm happy to wait a little longer because I think I'm really into him, I head home.

* * *

I walk into the apartment and see Joey at the fridge chugging some orange juice.

"Uh hey Joe," I say.

"Hey man," he says after lowering the carton.

"Thirsty?" I jest.

He smiles and shakes the carton.

"Gotta fuel up," he wiggles his eyebrows at me.

"Oh you have a girl over?"

"Yeah, she's in my room," Joey boasts, like he's never had a girl in his room before.

I just nod at him, not needing to go into specifics.

He twists the cap back on and puts the carton back in the fridge.

"Hey, how was your date?" he quickly inquires.

"Oh, good thanks."

"Did you uh, need any rejuvenation," he bobs his head back to the fridge, implying to the sex I didn't have.

"Uh, no not this time."

His smirk fades.

"Oh, he's holding out on you?"

"We're waiting, cause we actually care about each other," I suddenly make this my philosophy because I don't want to make Chris look bad. Even though it shouldn't matter what Joey thinks, I don't have to live by his life-style.

"Alright, well I'm gonna not wait and go have round number two fun," Joey vaunts and hurries past me to his room. He creaks the door open and slips in. I sigh, wishing I could have even one round with Chris. I want to sleep with him so bad and now I'm sitting here alone while my roommate gets to have not only have sex, but have it more than once.

* * *

The next day Joey and I are just lounging around, being as lazy as possible. We've been watching TV all morning in the lounge chairs. I turn over to him during a boring commercial.

"So, you gonna see that girl again, from yesterday?"

"Nah," he shrugs like every other time.

"What about you and Chris?" Joey asks.

"Yeah, I really like him actually."

"And you gotta at least wait until the good part."

"Sex is not the only good part," I keep defending, even though I'm not really crazy about waiting.

"So, how's the blind thing going?" he asks.

"I mean no problems so far. I guess it takes a little getting used to, but so far it's been kind of good. I don't have to watch weird faces I make or worry too much about my clothes ya know."

"Yeah… well, it's a good thing he's blind, now I can't steal him from ya," Joey jokes, but it's the first time he's ever made a gay joke and I'm a little surprised.

"Yeah, phew," I smile.

Joey looks over at me.

"Was that offensive or something?" He assumes from my off tone.

"Oh, no I just wasn't expecting you to make that kind of joke, it was funny," I assure him.

"You know, I was actually offended when I found out he was blind."

"Why?" Joey asks.

"I thought maybe Rachel picked him 'cause she thought…you know I'd never get a guy like that if he could see me."

Joey frowns sweetly.

"Aw, come on Chan you're not ugly. You're a good looking guy."

"Not like him, not like you," I say without thinking.

"Come on, everyone has their likes," Joey tries.

"Yeah like when the two of us go out, anyone's really gonna look at me over you," I protest.

Joey is about to think of a way to object this, but I don't need him to make something up so I just keep going.

"I just think if Chris had his sight, he'd be a different person. He wouldn't appreciate personality so much and so he probably wouldn't even look at me."

"You don't even know that," Joey attempts.

"You're sweet Joe, but you're just saying that."

I can tell Joey feels bad for my view on myself, but I'm just being honest.

"Look, you can't just compare yourself to everyone. You don't have to be better looking than everyone around you to find someone. You shouldn't think of Chris that way, what matters is he likes you and he doesn't need to see you to like you. It's better than just living off your looks," Joey comments.

I smile at Joey, it's times like these I forget he is such a great friend. You don't need brains or looks to be so sweet. I like when he's actually honest with me.

"Thank man."

He smiles and pats me on the shoulder and then heads back to the show we're watching.

* * *

I see Chris again the next week. We meet up one night after work for another nice dinner. I sit down at the table with him and suddenly I feel better about everything. It's like Joey's words are ringing in my head. I never thought he could make me feel so much better about myself, but he did. I just think about how Chris actually likes me, the real me and I could be the ugliest man or the most attractive man on earth and it wouldn't matter. Suddenly, that's the most humbling thing, that my personality is attractive to Chris. Now, I'm even more giddy over Chris.

After dinner, we decide to walk through Central Park, we picked a restaurant pretty close. It's romantic, they have lights out and we're walking down a quiet path in the park, still talking like we have been all night.

We sit down at a bench to keep talking, but now all I can think is, can we make out? Can we go back to my place, can we do something? I cut him off with a kiss and he doesn't seem to mind. So, we start making out and all I'm thinking is finally, my god I need his lips. It's pretty intense until Chris slows things down again and then eventually stops our steamy session.

"Chandler, I really like you," he tells me.

"Me too," I tell him eagerly.

"It's just, I like to take things slow," he says and I'm glad he can't see the huge frown displayed on my face. I don't respond and luckily he keeps explaining.

"See, I just need to know I can trust people because I can so easily get hurt you know? I mean it'd be insanely easy for you to go behind my back."

That makes a lot of sense, I hadn't even thought of that. The idea of waiting is still a bit tortuous though, especially in times like these when he really got my blood flowing with a make out session. I squeeze my thighs together, trying to generate some will power.

"I get it," I say. "Why don't we catch a cab home?"

"Okay, thank you," he says and we get up and walk back to the bustling streets.

We share a cab and just get dropped off at our own stops, since we already had more than a goodnight kiss and we'll make plans to see each other again.

* * *

I get home and I'm still hanging onto some discomforting arousal. I put my things down to hear another uncomfortable sound of a female voice moaning from Joey bedroom. Oh great, what a perfect night to come home to this. Usually, when the Joey's guests are too loud I either try to go over to Monica's or just roll under my pillow and find a way to plug my ears. It's pretty late, so I head into my room and shut the door. I scramble to find my Walkman. I get the headphones over my ears and try playing it, but it won't start. I realize it needs new batteries. I groan and throw the thing to the end of the bed.

I keep hearing the grunts and moans from the other side of the wall and unfortunately it's provoking my member even more. I think I need to get out of here, when suddenly I consider a different option. I do need to get this pent up arousal out somehow and if these sounds are doing something, it would make things a lot easier.

So, I do it. I unzip my pants and stick my hand under my underwear. I start stroking as the girl gets even louder and starts calling Joey's name. I start imagining what Joey could be doing to her and then try to imagine doing those things and other things to Chris. I picture me and Chris and it picks up the pace of my hand. The girl is still calling Joey's name over and over again and before I know it I'm climaxing along with her in the other room.

When I come down from my mini high, I quickly head to the shower, a little embarrassed by my actions even though no one ever has to know.

* * *

Unfortunately, I found the awkward situation very helpful and in a sick way I start attempting to plan my dates with Chris the same nights I find out Joey has a date. And every night when Chris leaves me high and dry, I head home and, almost like clockwork, Joey is fooling around with some girl, making everything very vocal. I close my door and let their night help me finish mine.

I know it's pretty sick and gross and wrong, but what can I do? I'm not asking them to have rudely loud sex in the next room and I'm definitely not asking Chris to hold out on me.

I've done this a couple times already and although it's helping me get through I'm really wondering how long it will take for Chris to trust me enough. I really feel I have proved my sincerity to him by now. That I truly like him enough and I don't want to hurt him.

Well, finally I think tonight is the night. It's our seventh date, seventh! We have a very nice night and we're by his place so I offer to walk him home. We walk up his stoop and I'm planning on kissing him goodnight and then heading home. I lean in and we start kissing sweetly, like always. He rests his hands on my face and lets me kiss him with some tongue; it's not our first time.

When we break the kiss, I press my lips together.

"Well, I had another great night," I say.

"Me too, I don't want it to end," Chris says.

I smile.

"Me either."

"Well, then do you want to come in?" Chris asks and my eyes widen. I've really let my control of expressions go since dating Chris. I probably look like a lunatic most of the time, just letting exaggerated expressions run wild.

"Uh, yeah I do," I sputter, totally uncool. He chuckles for a second and then unlocks the door. My heart is beating so fast.

We walk inside and I compliment his place, it is really nice.

"Make yourself comfortable," he says and points to the couch. I let my eyes go wide again because I can't believe this might be it, this might be the night.

I sit on the couch and take my coat off.

"Wine?" he calls from the kitchen.

"Sure, thanks," I call back. He comes back in a few minutes with two wine glasses. We start sipping our wine and he tries to start a conversation back up, but my mind is too distracted with the possible of sex that I barely say anything and the conversation keeps dying. Luckily, Chris takes it perfectly well and we make out instead. I get instantly hotter with everything Chris does tonight because I just keep thinking its actually going to go further tonight. And it does, Chris stops and says, "Want to take this to the bedroom?"

"Yes," I breathe out and we move into his room. We fall onto his bed and for the first time I get to kiss him all over. I take his shirt off and he's in great shape, better than me. Another reason I'm thankful that won't be so obvious to him. We're rolling around his bed half naked, kissing and biting each other. We can't get enough of each other.

Chris flips me over so he's on top again and starts kissing down my body making my skin burn to no end. I still can't believe this is finally happening, I'm too excited, too ready. He moves to my underwear and slides them off. I bite my lip with anticipation. Chris decides to put his wet mouth over my penis and it instantly makes me moan loudly. I throw my head back. I've been waiting so long to do everything with Chris, this is all so amazing. And he's really good at this, maybe not seeing and only feeling is the key to blowjobs. He's still going hard and strong and I'm crumbling underneath him. I can't take much more and I'm groaning with every touch of his tongue and teeth.

"_This is so good_," I huff out.

He keeps going.

I feel myself getting so close.

Pleasure shoots through my body.

"_Oh God, ooh Joey_," I cry out.

I hear myself say it and I freeze and my heart drops. Chris has paused all his movement as well and he slowly removes his mouth from my crotch and sits up.

"Did you say Joey?"

I can't answer; I'm overpowered by fear, regret, and an immense state of arousal.

"You're…you're roommate Joey?" Chris questions me again.

I can't move, oh God what have I done?


	10. Chapter 10

How can I recover from this?

I mean I finally get to be with Chris, Chris who I really really like, and I say the wrong name? And not just any name but someone he knows—my roommate, of all people! Oh god and now even the truth won't work, I can't tell him that I've been listening to Joey bed tons of women and listen to them scream his name. I can't admit I pleasured myself to the sound of women orgasming. And even if he wasn't totally disgusted by that truth, he will never trust me now. It took weeks just to get here and I had to mess it up.

I close my eyes wishing I could be anywhere but here. Wishing I could take back the biggest regret of my life.

"Please….try to understand," I plead instantly. I sit up and see Chris distance himself from me. I pull my underwear back up, also wishing my crotch wasn't burning.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I don't even know where that came from. I really really like _you_ Chris."

He's still in shock.

"Joey?" He whispers unbelieving.

"I know I have no idea why I would say that? I feel nothing for him, really, it was just a weird, horrible mistake!" I implore.

He looks down and shakes his head still deciding what to say or do.

"Chris, please can we just forget that ever happened," I say and lean over to touch his arm lightly, but he pulls it away.

"You don't….you don't just call out someone's name unless you feel something for them."

"No, no that's not always true," I try.

"So, when you're getting blown you call out anyone's name, your friend, teacher, mother?" Chris tests me.

I rub my lips together, trying not to let them tremble. I don't want to lose Chris.

I let out a staggered breath. There's so much horrific tension in the air.

"Chris—"

"No, Chandler, can you just go? I need time to think," Chris tells me.

I sit there for a moment, trying to think of anything I can say to change his mind, but he points to the door. So, I force my legs to get off his bed. I grab my clothes from the floor, throw them on and leave.

* * *

I'm walking back to the apartment in a daze. The thought of losing Chris is heartbreaking, it's making me want to be with him more than ever. And if potentially losing a great guy wasn't enough, I had to humiliate myself while doing so and, even worse, now I have to figure out if saying Joey's name actually did mean anything!

I don't know how I make it home, the whole time I have the biggest weight in my chest and I'm trying to hold back tears. I walk into the apartment, feeling empty. I don't even know what to do with myself. I walk inside and just stand there, not seeing Joey on the couch.

"Hey Chan," he calls. I turn and look at him.

"Hey."

He doesn't even notice my dying state.

"Hey, would you mind reading lines with me for this audition?" He holds up a script.

I don't want to move, I don't want to deal with anything, but more than feeling empty I don't want to have to talk about it, so I just go along with life and try not to make my broken heart noticeable.

I walk over limply and sit next to him. We face each other and hold the scripts in our hands.

I'm playing some girl named Carrie and he's playing a guy named Bradley.

We start the scene and it's really all small talk. But I try to keep up my mood, especially since it's pretty clear the characters are flirting. Then, again I'm not an actor so I don't put too much effort into it.

"Carrie, I'm sorry if I was staring, but I couldn't help looking at you," Joey reads his line and scoots a little closer to me on the couch. I stay put and read my next line emotionless.

"Well, it's not so bad looking at you either."

"I mean, if we really want to stare at each other all day maybe we should find a quieter place," Joey states and leans in another inch.

"Quieter than here?" I read flatly and in parentheses it says to giggle, but I skip it.

"I know a place we can be alone," Joey says and once more leans in a bit. I don't realize what he's doing, but his face is getting pretty close to mine, he even rests his free hand on the back of the couch so he can easily lean his face towards me without our bodies getting too close.

My next line says to whisper so I quietly read Carrie's next line.

"And what would we do alone?"

"Whatever you want," Joey says in an alluring tone and it gives me goose bumps unexpectedly. With that he leans in yet again so his face is even closer to mine. I look right at his face so close to mine. He's not even looking at me though, he's still fixated on his script. I finally look down and read ahead seeing that Bradley is supposed to be leaning in to kiss Carrie. My stomach is suddenly bundled with nerves from him being so close.

"Chandler, your line," Joey breaks back to his normal voice, still only inches away from me.

"Oh… well, that sounds like trouble," I read uneasily.

"Everyone needs a little danger in their life," Joey reads seductively and moves a final inch or two closer and I swear he could kiss me without a moment's notice, his lips could touch mine with the tiniest motion, but then Joey glances into my eyes.

"And then I would kiss her," he clears his throat and backs up. When distance is created between us again I let out some air, realizing at some moment, I started holding my breath.

And then a shot of anger creeps into me. Why is Joey making me nervous and his stupid attractive voice is giving me goose bumps? What the hell Chandler, this is the reason you lost Chris! I hate myself, I hate myself so much. Stop it, Joey is just your dumb roommate, sure he's pretty to look at, but that's it. Chris is a great guy and I never want to say Joey's name again!

"Thanks," Joey suddenly cuts into my thoughts as he's looking over the script.

"Was I good?" he asks and looks up at me again. But I'm frozen, I'm dealing with my heart weighing a ton and knots in my stomach and anger and hurt and confusion running through my head. I can't breathe, I inhale a huge breath.

"Chandler? Are you okay?" Joey looks at me strange.

I shake my head no, biting my tongue and trying to hold back tears for dear life.

"What's wrong?" Joey asks, concerned.

I look down, squeezing my eyes tight.

"What's going on?" Joey probes and squeezes my arm.

"I just messed up is all," my voice cracks.

"Messed up what?"

"Me and Chris."

"Why, what happened?"

"I just made a mistake and now I don't think Chris can trust me anymore."

"What did you do, sleep with someone?"

"I wish," I mumble, but Joey doesn't catch what I said. "No, I just messed up, it doesn't even matter what I did. Chris is probably going to call tomorrow and end it."

"Are you sure, can't you apologize or do something to make it up to him?"

"Trust doesn't come in a package Joe," I say and look back up at him. His face is sad for me.

"I'm sorry buddy, is there anything I can do?"

I shake my head no.

We sit there another moment in silence.

"Want a hug?" Joey offers. I shrug and he leans over to wrap his arms around me. I melt in his warm embrace, his arms tightly around me. He lets go and I feel broken again.

"I just want to be alone for a bit," I say.

He nods as I get up and head to my room.

* * *

Chris doesn't call me for days. Finally, after a few days I call him. He doesn't answer and I leave a message on his machine. I apologize again and tell him I can prove I can be trusted and I am fully devoted to our relationship.

Work is just miserable because I go everyday wondering if Chris will call. I'm in pain all day and I don't even know for sure if we broke up. Then, the dreadful call comes.

Thursday, I come home to see a message beeping on the machine. It's Chris and he does it. He officially breaks my heart by telling me we no longer have a relationship, because he can't see someone who might be hung up on someone else. He needs to fully trust me and he can't. He thanks me for the time we spent together and wishes me well. I delete the message and let my body fall onto the counter, burying my head in my arms.

I knew it was coming, I had very little hope he would get past this. I'm just so mad at myself for making such a stupid mistake. Well, I transition into my ice cream eating, sweatpants, die in my sorrow phase for the next few days. Joey is very concerned. He can't really help because when I used to get like this he used to take me to strip clubs, but he's not willing to go to a gay strip club. He tries cheering me up and even enlisted our friends to help, but nothing really works. Rachel even apologizes for ever introducing us. But no one knows why it really ended, I just tell them all he broke up with me. Everyone's by my side for the rest of the week. But of course they can't stay with me all the time because they have jobs and I'm using all my vacation days at this point. Joey decides this needs to end. He calls up my father. My dad and I really patched things up since I came out. Just in the sense that I can talk to him occasionally and be in the same room as him, I still try to avoid seeing him as often as possible.

Well, it ends up Joey made perfect timely.

My dad calls me up the next day and says he's coming for a visit.

He explains he was invited to one of his friend's drag show in New York and wants to go together. I agree because I know he won't let me say no anyway.

* * *

My dad arrives on Saturday night and I open the door to a bulky woman wearing a tight purple dress and heels.

"Hey dad."

"Chandler!" he hugs me tightly.

I let him in.

"Where are your bags?" I ask.

"Oh, I dropped them off at Andy's," he tells me.

I don't need to ask anymore questions about whichever boy toy this must be. I swear he has one waiting for him in every city. At least, I don't have to make a bed up for him here, I think.

"Want a drink or anything?" I offer.

"Sure, I'll grab a water before we go," he accepts.

"So, how long does it take to get to the venue?" he inquires.

"Not long, it's a fifteen minute ride," I tell him.

"You're not going to wear that are you?" he asks and I look down at my sweater vest and slacks. I grunt with a long sigh as Joey saves me and walks into the apartment in this moment.

"Joey!" My dad cheers and walks over to him.

He hugs him, which Joey was not prepared for.

Joey clears his throat and pats my dad's shoulder after the slight attack.

"Hey, Mr. Bing."

"I missed this pretty face," he pinches his cheek which Joey also isn't a fan of and then adds. "You're coming to my friend's show too, aren't you? Chandler, we should all go!" He turns to me excitedly.

"I really don't think that's Joey's kind of thing," I attempt to save Joey who already looks worried.

"It's not a thing, it's a grand time! Joey, you'll come won't you?"

Joey opens his mouth, but can't think of a good enough excuse to come out with.

"Food and drinks are on me," my father quickly includes.

"Alright, I guess I could go for some free food," Joey gives in.

"Oh, great," my dad smiles widely at me and I flash a tired smile at both of them.

We get to the club and I can tell Joey is already miserable.

"Man, this sucks all the women here aren't even…women," Joey whispers to me.

"Yeah, you're out of luck here," I break it to him.

He sighs.

"Hey, you're not alone, I'm not into this," I murmur back.

My dad walked ahead of us, but in this moment he swings around with a huge smile.

"What are two whispering about, come on let's get a table up front," he booms.

We follow him up to the front, both not wanting to be so close to the stage or in any lit part of this place.

We sit at the table and more women looking like my dad come to serve us. My dad orders us all rounds and some appetizers.

When the show starts, I hang close to Joey and pretend my chair is so close to his because we're sharing the nachos. I'm not really even that hungry, I just keep munching so I look busy. Unfortunately my plan backfires on me completely and in the middle of the show, when the main man or woman…whatever… is talking to the crowd, she points us out.

"Helena!" She calls out my father's drag name.

"Crystal!"

This must be his friend.

"Everyone, my good from came all the way from Las Vegas to visit little me," she laughs loudly and the crowd laughs and claps.

I start crouching closer to the nachos.

She walks right over to the table.

"And how are you liking the show —Charles," she covers her mouth like she let out the biggest secret of the century.

Everyone laughs.

"It's fantastic — Morrie," my dad jabs her back and again an uproar from the crowd.

"And who do you have with you?"

Oh no. She walks around the table so she's in between my dad and Joey, and I'm crouched next to Joey on the other side.

"Oh this is my son, Chandler!" my father excitedly points directly at me.

"Oh, what a wonderfully handsome young man and who did you bring Chandler, could it be a boyfriend?" She sings into the microphone, smiling down at Joey.

"You really won a looker, didn't he?" She calls out the crowd and they all whistle, which makes Joey uncomfortable.

My cheeks instantly flush and I hope the lighting isn't so great from far away.

"Oh no, this is just my roommate and good friend," I reply to her.

"Oh, just a roommate? But hoping for more?" She asks and then lowers the microphone right to Joey like it's his turn to answer.

"Uh, no I don't… like men," Joey says, nervous he might offend them.

"Well, well, maybe if you get a few more drinks in him, huh Chandler?" She snickers into the mic as she circles around to my side and squeezes my shoulder. The crowd hollers and whistles at this one.

"No, no," I try, but she's already heading back to the stage.

"Aw, let's give it up for them. What a handsome table!"

I try to avoid looking at Joey because, without knowing, she brought up the incident. The horrible scam of leading Dominick to believe we could get Joey drunk enough to fool around with us. The whole thing Joey and I purposely buried to never bring up again. We haven't talked about it since he found out. I can see him sitting uncomfortably out of the corner of my eye. I'm sure he's mad. This just became the worst night of my life, literally. I sit there panicking internally for the rest of the show.


	11. Chapter 11

We sit in silence on the cab ride home, well actually Joey and I sit in silence while my father raves about the show and his dear friend who was wonderful, according to him. We get to the apartment and Joey walks ahead, still not saying a word. When we walk inside Joey retreats to his room and finally my dad seems to notice.

"Hey, what's with him?" he asks.

"Your stupid friend, that's what," I grumble.

"What?"

I grab his arm and pull him out the hall so Joey can't overhear us.

"Look, something happened a few weeks ago that we haven't spoken about and your friend unknowingly referenced it in the show!"

"What, how?"

"I kind of convinced this gay guy that if we got Joey drunk enough he would fool around with us. Then Joey found out and your friend had to make that dumb comment," I explain, annoyed.

"Oh, come on that was fun banter, everyone loved it!"

"Well, not Joey, now he's gonna be pissed at me for something I thought we got passed."

"Clearly, you're not passed it," my dad points out.

"Yes we were," I argue naïvely.

He gives me a look.

"Alright, maybe he never fully got over it, but I swore I wouldn't have actually done anything. And we never even came close anyhow."

"But if you did come close?"

I crank my neck side to side, not wanting to admit the truth, but knowing he'll probably catch my lie.

"Do you have a thing for Joey?" my dad questions me, suddenly giddy for gossip.

"What, no!" I hush him.

"Then, why can't you answer?"

I bite the inside of my mouth, secretly mad at my dad for bringing any of this up.

"Look, I don't know! Of course, he's good looking and I think about it maybe, sometimes, and yeah I said his stupid name in bed with another guy!" I pour everything out for him.

My dad's eyebrows raise and his eyes widen.

"_Oh my_! Chandler, this sounds serious."

"No, it's not. It's all a misunderstanding, look he's my best friend and my roommate and he's straight!"

"You can't help who you love," he quotes.

"I do not _love_ Joey, that's for sure," I correct him.

"But you admit you have feelings for him?"

"What, no!" I yell and then think it over. "Alright, I don't know," I quietly confess.

My father beams with glee.

I shake my head.

"It doesn't matter, even if I do have a thing for him, nothing can happen. He's straight and currently mad at me."

"Well, what matters is, you're aware of it. Even if nothing can come of it, at least now you can learn to get over him, in time," my father advises like he's some wise prophet.

I glare at my father; every word he says is completely true yet I don't want to hear it. I don't even want to believe I could have feelings for Joey. That's probably how I never knew; I never took the time to really consider it or think about it because I didn't want to end with heartbreak, which has to happen now.

I also hate down to my bones to admit Eddie might have been right, when he broke up with me saying I have feelings for Joey. And even Dominick and Chris, they all ended with Joey somehow, with my somehow having something going on with Joey. And I just yelled at all of them, secretly calling them liars and idiots. Now, I'm the idiot.

* * *

My father doesn't stay too much longer, probably because he's got to get to his boy toy Andy. I say goodbye and tell him I had a good time. He responds by wishing me good luck and gives me a wink, while pointing to Joey's room. I push him out and he laughs all the way down the stairs. I lock the door and look towards Joey's closed door. I wonder if he's going to come out at all tonight.

Joey doesn't come out of his room at all. I head to sleep and hope we can get passed this in the morning. Well, the next day he avoids me as much as he can. I miss him for half the day and I even hang out with Ross at Central Perk. I head back up to the apartment in the afternoon and catch Joey coming out of Rachel's and Monica's apartment. He tries to sneak back him, but I run up to the door and shove my body half way in to prevent it from closing.

"Hey! Joey come on, we need to talk!"

He keeps trying to push the door closed.

"Joey, you can't avoid me forever!"

He finally lets the door go and I nearly fall over from all the effort I was putting into keeping it open.

"How about we go back to never talking about it again," he demands and walks back across the hall. I follow him into our apartment and shut the door.

"Look, we need to get passed this once and for all. That's why it bothers you. If we could just forget about it, you wouldn't be avoiding me today," I tell him and he looks miserable that he knows I'm right.

He grunts.

"Fine, what are we supposed to do?"

"I think we should put it all out there. Just say everything no matter how awkward it is," I offer.

He stares at me and clenches his teeth together.

"Okay, I'll start. Joey, I'm really, really sorry I convinced some guy that you would participate in a gay act if you got drunk enough. It was wrong to lie and to ever involve you and put your reputation at risk," I state.

He puts his hands on his hips and looks down for a second.

"Would you have gone through with it?" He questions me, while still looking at the floor. I gulp.

"I… I wasn't doing anything to make sure it would happen, but if it did happen, somehow, I don't know that I definitely would have opposed going along with it. _But_ I wouldn't have let anything happen if you didn't give your consent. I mean I know it would have been a drunken consent, but the point wasn't to force anything on you, it was to talk you into it," I explain.

Joey shakes his head and lets out a long breath.

"I just can't believe you led him on for so long. I mean what if you guys had dated for months or a year?"

"Well, I mean we weren't even dating. He made plans with me only to get to you and I knew that everytime he failed with our plan, he would just settle for me. I was being selfish, I was getting some action and from a guy I never thought I could get on my own. That's the real reason I keep it going, not because I thought he would convince you," I tell him sincerely.

He absorbs what I've said.

"Alright — I forgive you. But don't ever do it again, okay?"

"No, never, I promise."

"Okay," he says.

I walk a few steps closer to him, since we put a lot of distance between us.

"We still best buds?" I ask and put my hand out. He looks at me and finally lets a small smile form.

"Of course," he says and high fives my hand.

* * *

Joey and I are basically back on normal terms. It always takes at least a few days to get the weird vibes out completely. And I know I always risk not gaining all his trust back, but lately we're feeling pretty normal.

When the weekend comes, Joey has to work. It ends up Joey got the part in a movie. The one I read with him with the characters Bradley and Carrie. It's a small romantic comedy. He going to film a few scenes and informs me he'll probably go out with the cast afterwards.

He returns home really late and wakes me up.

He's banging into the things and things are loudly falling all over. I come out to the living and turn the light on.

"Hello!" I angrily try to get his attention.

He pushes his head up and smiles.

"Chandller, heyyyy," he drunkingly greets me. He waves a hand that has a white bandage wrapped around the middle of it.

"Hey, what happened to you?" I ask and point at his hand as I start moving more into the living room. He looks at his hand and forgets for a moment. He thinks it over and this it clicks.

"Oh yeah, I cut my hand on broken glass."

"What, where was there broken glass?" I ask, concerned.

"I smashed my glass!" he exclaims.

"Oh my god, is it a deep cut, do you need stitches?"

"Nah, the bartender wrapped it up and said I'm finnnne!"

He's so drunk. I think he's beginning to make this a bad habit.

He wobbles to the couch and plops down. He runs his hands down his thighs to his knees. I don't know what he's doing. He leans his body back and then forward. He closes his eyes and presents a pained expression.

"You okay Joe?" I ask.

He throws his head side to side to say no. I step closer to the couch.

"My good hand," he frowns and holds up his bandaged hand to me. It's his right hand, and he's a righty.

"I'm sorry buddy," I pat his shoulder.

He closes his eyes again and puts his hands on his knees. He breathes slowly with his eyes closed and his head tilted back.

What the hell is he doing?

He opens his eyes and looks up at me.

"Chhandller," he slurs, still too intoxicated to be awake.

"Yeah?"

"Can you… can you just sit on me?" he oddly requests.

I slant my eyebrows at him.

"Uh, what?" I try to laugh off.

"Just… could you," he says looking down at his lap and patting his legs lightly. I widen my eyes at him, not believing he's really asking this.

"Sit — on me," he finally finishes his sentence.

I'm speechless, what kind of request is this from a straight roommate? And should I actually do this? What if this is some ploy to get me to do the wrong thing and give him another reason to hate me again.

I hesitate, but he's drunkenly impatient.

"Chandler!" He yells in a demanding, but helpless sounding voice and it sends a shiver down my spine. I don't know if I'm worried or turned on.

"You really want me to…" I start, but Joey keenly nods his head up and down with his eyes closed again.

"I…alright," I give in.

Hey, he's asking and who am I to say no to sitting on top of Joey?

So, I move slowly and complete the space between him and I; stopping directly in front of him. He keeps his eyes shut and I wonder if that's on purpose. I'm deciding if he would prefer I sit down facing him or with my back to him. I figure, for his sake, I should turn around because it's a much more intimate position if I face him.

I turn my back to him and lower myself onto his legs. I'm sitting on his thighs, but the next thing I know his hands grab my waist and he pulls me back so that I slide onto his crotch and nearly fall back on him. I catch my balance and rest my hands on his thighs to keep steady. He lets my waist go and lets his hands fall by his sides.

My eyes go wide again for a completely new reason. Joey is super hard under me. I feel his erection pressing against my butt cheeks. He starts to shift his hips up and back so it grinds against me. I gulp, trying to keep my cool. A small groan comes from the back and his throat and now my skin is starting to burn. I'm so turned on. I'm sitting on Joey's lap, feeling his boner pressed against me and now he's rubbing against me. Oh god, I hope I make it through this.

My breaths becomes staggered as he keeps tiredly pushing his crotch up against me or circling his hips underneath me. Actually feeling him hard is so thrilling. I know he's so drunk which is probably why he's doing all this, he's clearly too horny to care. And maybe he can't masturbate because his hand is cut. I don't even care what the reasons are or how in the world we got here, but I'm here sitting on Joey lap with his hard dick under me. So, I have to make the best of this and let's face it at this rate, Joey's not gonna be satisfied anytime soon, he's moving too slow and lazily. So, I keep my hold on his thighs and start digging my butt down on him. A new, longer groan comes from him and it lights a shot of arousal right through me. I press my weight down on him and grind my bottom up and down his crotch. I can feel I'm really working him now and Joey's groaning soft moans helplessly under me. I keep this going until I feel Joey starting to squirm and fidget underneath me. So, I crank it up and start bouncing up and down onto his erection. Now, he lets out a pained moan and I have to grip onto my own junk because it's been getting too hard to go unnoticed. I keep bouncing and smashing down onto his crotch until I hear Joey sharply inhale and then grunt loudly from deep in his throat. I calm down and go back to grinding up and down on him slowly as I feel wetness under my pajama pants. I let out a slow, controlled breath and still my motions. I stand up and turn around. I look down at him. He head is thrown back, with his eyes still closed. His chest keeps rising and falling and the best part, the front of his jeans are soaked. It's too exciting to even look at, to even know I had anything to do with this. And it's also making me burn, since I still need to take care of myself. I figure, I don't need to wait around for Joey to sober up and realize what happened anyway. So, I leave and head to my room and take care of my burning member.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **Thanks again to everyone who has left reviews, I always appreciate feedback! I hope you all keep enjoying the story.

* * *

I wait to see what Joey will say the next morning. He says nothing and I guess I should have expected it; he likes to shove awkward moments under a rock and never talk about them. I only fear if it never comes up, it'll bubble up like the last thing.

I go about my normal day and then the following morning wait for something to come up…still nothing. I sigh, as I realize I'm gonna have to bring it up so it doesn't drive a secret wedge between us.

Right as I'm dreading the thought of talking to Joey about the incident that I thoroughly enjoyed and he's probably ashamed of, a possible comes into my mind. What if Joey doesn't remember? I mean he was drunk. He didn't remember that time I dragged him home from that bar, plastered, and he took his pants off in front of me.

I debate whether to bring it up because I'm sure if he does remember he has no intention of talking about it. I let myself think on it a little longer.

* * *

That Thursday, Ross comes into our apartment looking for Joey.

"I think he's in his room," I tell him. I know he came home from filming an hour or so ago and went into his room.

"What's up?" I ask Ross.

"Nothing, Joey and I were gonna grab a bite together."

And there is, my fears becoming reality. The same thing happened last time we ignored an issue, he started making plans without me. And the thing is, this is a little unusual, but obviously we're allowed to hang out individually and not always all together. So, the worst part is I can't even accuse him just yet, because one time is not a definite sign of Joey pushing me away.

I force a smile.

"Oh, that's cool."

"Hey, you wanna join?" Ross offers like any other time. Normally, this would be fine and Joey would have no obligations with me tagging along. But I have a feeling I shouldn't be so sure this time that Joey will be delighted by my presence. I try to think of an excuse, but what can I say? We know everything about our lives. I don't have any plans. I'm silent, trying to think of something, when Joey emerges from his room.

"Hey, Joey," Ross greets him.

"Hey, man."

"You ready to go?" Ross asks.

"Yeah."

"I was just inviting Chandler to tag along," Ross informs him causally. Joey looks over at me and pauses for a second.

"Yeah, of course," he says forced and I can hear it, which drills a hole in my heart.

* * *

We head out to a local diner and eat. Nothing exciting happens, we talk about the usual: The Knicks, our jobs, and then mainly about Ross's new girlfriend.

When we pay the check, I think Ross and I both assume we're gonna head home. Joey seems to have others plans though as we walk out to the streets of the city.

"Hey, let's grab a drink," he suggests.

"Joe, we have work tomorrow," Ross speaks for both of us.

"Me too," he says.

"Yeah, what time?" Ross challenges him.

"Alright, it's a night shoot, but come on just one drink, you won't have a hangover," Joey argues.

Ross looks at me, trying to decide.

"Come on guys, don't be wimps," Joey mocks us.

Ross rolls his eyes and turns back to Joey.

"Alright, one drink," he warns. We head to a bar and Ross and I are very cautious. We order one drink each and milk it the whole hour. Joey, on the other hand, doesn't take anything slow. He's already on his third drink by the end of the hour.

"Hey, Joey why don't you cool it a bit on the drinks," I carefully advise to him.

"Nah, I'm only enjoying myself," Joey counters and the next thing we know he follows a pretty girl that passes our table and disappears from our sight.

I lean in to Ross.

"Listen, I think he's been drinking more than usual. Or at least, everytime he goes to drink, he goes to get wasted," I fill him in on my observations.

"Really, how long has this been happening?"

"I don't know, sporadically, but over the last few weeks or so."

"Oh man, has he been bummed about anything?" Ross inquires.

"I mean nothing I know about, maybe he doesn't realize?" I try.

"Maybe he does, I mean he wanted to come to a bar on a Thursday night," Ross worriedly points out to me.

I nod at him, knowing my assumptions most likely check out.

Ross advices I talk to him about it, since I've witnessed it enough to make the point. I worried it would come to that. I tell him I will and in another hour or so we force Joey into a cab and take him home.

* * *

I help Joey into the apartment, already dreading that tomorrow or sometime soon, I'll have to talk to him about what happened. I would love to ignore it and just have the memory for myself, but the fear of him distancing himself from me or us drifting apart is too scary to take the risk.

I get him to his bed and plop him down. He sits back up clumsily and smiles at me.

"Okay, buddy time to sleep," I say.

He licks his lips slowly and I'm sure it's out of his drunkenness, but I find it sexy and immediately scold myself in my head. It's clearly time to get out of here, but I doubt he will take the effort to remove his shoes or anything so I force myself to stay in his room a little longer.

"Let me just grab your shoes for you," I tell him and bed down to pull them off. He lets me, but as I'm standing up again he grabs my arm. Now, I'm hanging in his grip, so close to him, this isn't fair for me.

"Yeah, Joe?" I stammer.

He exhales a deep breath as if I'm not suspended a few inches from his face.

"I need…one mmmore thing…" his beer raided breath hits me with each word.

"Yeah…what is it?"

He lets my arm go and I straighten my body.

He look down, letting his head hang. I'm wondering if he's about to fall asleep in this position. I wait anticipating an answer from him.

He squeezes his hands into fists.

"Turn off the light," he finally says and my face drops with disappointment, I don't know what I was expecting.

"Sure," I say and go to turn and walk to the light by the door, by right as I turn around my motions are halted when I feel his foot step on the back of my shoe and I trip backwards after losing balance. I fall right onto his lap. I don't know if Joey acts like he didn't expect this or maybe it's his incoherent state of mind, but his body bounces back, not ready for the impact of me falling on top of him. I almost fall all the way onto my back as well, right on top of him, but I catch myself by throwing my hands out to my sides and grabbing onto the blanket on his bed. I sit up, still on his lap…yet again. I should get up, just get up, it was a mistake. But I don't want to move. I finally shake my head and go to get up, but the second my hips lift off his legs, he calls, "Wait."

I freeze.

He doesn't say anything else and when I turn my head and look back at him, he just rests his head back down and stares up at the ceiling.

I get the feeling he's not going to ask me this time, but I can see he wants it, the same thing we did a week ago. How can I say no, how can I refuse grinding against my hot, straight roommate? I can't, so my willpower shuts down and I sit back down on him.

* * *

I'm ashamed to say I got even more into it this second time, and I let it all happen, returning to my room with pants as wet as Joey's when we're done. Again I didn't wait around too long, to see if Joey would say anything else.

Now, I'm really screwed. I'm so mad that I have to bring this all up because I really want to keep doing this. I don't know if Joey's really this drunk and horny or if something else is going on. And as much as I want to know the answer to that question, I'd much rather shut up and grind against his hard dick.

Especially, now that I've finally come to terms with that fact that I have feelings for Joey, I never thought anything would ever happen. And nothing probably ever will happen, so the fact that I'm getting to do this is too good to be true. And now I have to ruin it by talking about it and while he's sober too!

But I know I have to, because our friendship means too much to me and I'm also genuinely concerned Joey's drinking will progressively get worse. So, I decide, no matter what, I'm talking to him about it tomorrow. The second he gets home from filming, we're having a chat.

* * *

I'm a nervous wreck from the second I get home. It's like work was my safeguard. I knew that as long as I was at work there was no talk to be had and I had still had time. But now that I'm home, the only thing left to do is wait until Joey walks through the door. Well, Joey works until about midnight and I'm pretty exhausted, but I've stayed up thanks to an extra cup or two of coffee. I hear the door turn and I jump up, off the lounge chair. I click the TV off and turn to face the door. He walks in and is surprised to see me.

"Hey man, what are you doing up?"

"I… I couldn't sleep."

I shake my head.

"No, actually I really need to talk to you," I correct my lie.

His eyebrows rise as he hesitantly places his bookbag down on the island.

"Oh, okay what's up?"

"Maybe we should sit?" I suggest.

Now he looks concerned.

"What's going on?"

"No, nothing bad. I think we just need to discuss something."

I go over to the couch and sit down. He sits next to me and looks right at me, making more nervous than I already am.

"Okay, here it goes…the thing is…the thing I need to talk to you about is…" I start shakily.

"What is it?" he asks innocently.

"Okay… remember when we didn't talk about something before and then it bothered us until we got it all out in the open?"

He face scrunches, remembering the incident and talks we had to have. He simply nods at me.

"Well, I think we need to address something else now, don't you think?" I try.

Now, his eyebrows scrunch together in a confused expression.

"You can't think of something that happened between us, recently?" I press further.

His lips purse together as he tries to think of what I'm referencing. I'm shocked it hasn't clicked. Does he really not remember?

"Something with you and me… happened recently…_twice_," I accentuate.

He still has a blank expression and I'm angry that he has no idea. I don't want to tell him what he practically begged me to do. I don't want to humiliate myself, why can't he just say it!

"You really don't know?" My voice rises.

"Sorry, no."

I stand up, irritated. I pace around a few times.

"Chandler, just tell me."

I stop and face him. I run my hands through my hair and then run them over my face wishing someone could just kill me instead. I take a deep breath and Joey keeps staring up at me, waiting.

"Okay, you were drunk last night and also a week ago and…" I begin.

He's still staring right up at me.

"And we were here the first night and in your room last night. Well, you asked me to… well, sit…on you," I force out.

He still looks perplexed.

"I what?"

"Sit on you, you had me sit on your lap and then and then you…we…moved."

"Moved?" he gulps, unsure, but uncomfortable.

"Yeah," I croak out, hoping he understands.

He shakes his head.

"What, I don't think so Chandler. Are you sure, you didn't just trip or something?"

"Well, you tripped me the second time."

"I tripped you?" Now his tone changed to condescending which instantly annoys me. Like I want to have this talk and now he's gonna accuse me of exaggerating? I don't think so!

"Yes, you full on stepped on the back of my shoe, this was last night Joe, last night!"

He makes a face and then shrugs.

"Well, I don't know. Seems a bit stretched."

"_Stretched_? No, it's not stretched okay. I know what happened because it happened twice and you're the one who did it okay, it was you, not me. How do you not remember? _Last_ _night_, it was last night and then a week ago. Twice it happened!" I angrily yell at him.

"Chandler, calm down."

"No, I won't. How do you not… does this ring a bell?" I demand and swiftly leap over to him and promptly sit on his crotch. He throws his body as far against the back of the couch as possible, shocked from my action. He lifts his arms as if he has no idea why I would sit on him and he's very uncomfortable with this.

"What are you doing?" he repulses.

"What you asked of me!" I say and with that I lift my hips and plummet down on him, awakening a grunt I learned to know.

"_Hey_, what are you doing?" he asks weakly from the pressure on his dick.

I exhaust a huge sigh.

"You really don't remember?" Now my voice is tinted with dejection.

Which makes him look at me and his eyes soften. He jaw clenches and he looks over to the side, refusing to keep eye contact.

This move is too suspicious.

"Do you?" I nearly whisper.

He breathes out a quivering breath.

"I know what I did," he whispers, practically mute and everything instantly turns inside of me. A flurry of mixed emotions whirls through me.

"Why were you pretending you didn't?"

"I…could you get off of me first," he interrupts himself.

"Oh, sorry," I quickly jump off and sit myself down next to him.

He leans forward and puts his hand to his forehead.

"Look, it happened the first time for real. I was just drunk and I got shot down by a girl so I was…turned on too and well yeah. I knew what happened the next morning and I was really embarrassed, I didn't know what to do," he explains.

I swallow, feeling my mouth going dry.

"Since it happened, and maybe since the whole incident and everything that happened with us…I don't know, I got curious I guess. I started having these weird thoughts about…us?" He confesses uneasily to me.

I have a million questions, a million I want to ask him, but I know he's not ready for most of them. And it's tough enough for him to say any of this. So, I narrow them down to one I think is pretty important.

"And then…the second time?" I present my one question. He cranks he neck, he still hasn't looked at me this whole time.

"I told you, I was confused and so when I drank enough, I figured maybe I should just try it one more time. Maybe it would make more sense if I knew I was doing it this time," he rationalizes to me.

I nod, still wanting to ask so many questions. I mean did he like it? Is he gay, bi? Is he ever going to do it again? What does this all mean, could this mean one day I might, possibly have a chance with him? I'm dying to ask any of these questions, but I can't make him suffer anymore. I'm so grateful he's told me this much. So, I let him off the hook.

"Thanks for telling me," I speak softly.

He finally looks up.

"You're my best friend Chandler," is all he leaves me with. He gets up and goes to his room. I sit for what feels like hours trying to digest everything.


	13. Chapter 13

The next day is Sunday. Joey and I say very little to each other throughout the morning. We all head down to Central Perk with the gang to have some coffee. I sit in the lone arm chair at the end so I'm sure I won't end up sitting next to Joey. I don't want anyone to notice us acting weird. After a while of everyone chatting about nothing basically, they turn to me.

"You okay Chandler?" Monica asks, putting her hand over mine.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I smile at her gently.

"You're just being so quiet," she says to me.

"Just tired I guess," I lie. She nods and they seem to back off. I see Joey avoiding eye contact with me. I'll see him looking over in my direction and then see him quickly shift his line of sight somewhere else the second I look his way.

I hate this, I really do.

* * *

In about another half an hour, I tell the gang I'm gonna try to take a nap or just relax upstairs. I think they're still concerned.

I head upstairs and after a while Joey comes back. He walks in and I turn around in my lounge chair, shutting off the tv as I do.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey, the girls keep asking if you're okay," he comments.

I don't say anything.

He looks at me.

"You are okay, aren't you?"

I shrug.

"I don't know, am I?"

"How should I know?" Joey spits.

I stand up and walk over to the opposite side of the counter.

"Maybe if my friend Joey would talk to me or look at me, I wouldn't be questioning my friendship and future living situation with him."

Joey looks at me with his mouth parted.

He closes his mouth and swallows.

"I'm not ready to talk," he states.

He walks around the island, heading to his room.

"Well, when will you be ready?" I turn to face him.

He turns around as well.

"I don't know," he answers.

"Well, we need to talk eventually, and it'll only be more uncomfortable the more we wait," I feel some annoyance building inside of me.

"Well, I don't want to talk about it yet." His tone is growing angrier too.

"Just tell me what you're thinking, what are you not ready for?" I raise my voice without meaning to.

"That's talking Chandler!"

"Yes, let's just talk it out!"

"No, I said I don't want to!"

"_Never_?" I argue.

"No, just not now!"

"Then when!"

"_I don't know_! God, why can't you leave me alone!" Joey yells at me.

"Because I like you!" I yell back.

He freezes, not getting it at first and then realizing what I mean.

I don't wait for him to answer.

"I have feelings for you, I do and I hate myself. I only care about our friendship surviving and this waiting to talk about what happened is killing me. Just tell me your straight and you'll always be straight and we'll go on being friends and I will get over you, I promise I will," I plead.

He stares at me shell-shocked. He takes a moment to take in everything I just yelled at him. Now I feel my stomach turning and my heart racing, since when did time stop. Every second is a millennium.

He looks down and we stand in silence for a few moments, the worst moments of my life.

"How did you know you were gay?" he asks a question I didn't see coming.

"I realized I liked men and not women," I tell him simply, probably too simply.

"I don't know, I just knew," I try to add on.

"But at one time didn't you think you liked women?"

"Sure, but I think that was because I grew up thinking I was supposed to, even though I lived with my father, which makes it ironic," I make a joke and he doesn't laugh, it's too tense.

He presses his lips together and is thinking hard about something.

"I like women," he states.

"Okay, I know you do," I tell him, trying to let him know he doesn't have to question his sexuality for me.

"But these thoughts about you won't go away," he admits to me.

I wish the situation wasn't so tense and I could inquire about the specific details of these "thoughts".

"Maybe that's all they are, nothing more," I try.

"But I sat on you," he says and then lets a smile crack at the ends of his mouth, which is surprising, he suddenly finds that amusing.

"I know," I smile a small smile back.

"Maybe you're the exception," he says and I wish I could have that on tape and play it over and over again. But I try to stay focused.

"Joe, you don't _have_ to have feelings for me, you can just have some curious thoughts, especially with everything that happened, it's understandable."

He thinks about it for a second.

"I…don't think so, my curiosity doesn't usually last too long, I usually get lazy and lose interest."

"But you've known me so long and we live together, it might just be different trying to forget this time," I offer to him.

He shrugs.

"I think there's only one way to know," he tells me.

Now, I'm too nervous and excited to ask what he means, but I somehow find the ability.

"What?" I crumble inside.

"We have to see if there's sparks," he says and I could pass out, literally pass out, but I get my next question out somehow.

"How?" I'm giddy inside.

"We have to kiss," he tells me like it's a do or die situation.

"Are you sure?" I ask, even though I'm just dying to run over to him.

"I can kiss a guy, I've done it before, and I know I'll know what I'm feeling after we do it," he explains, I think more for himself.

I nod.

"Okay," I say and then hesitate because neither of us takes a step closer.

I finally start to move closer and stop half way, not wanting to seem like I'm forcing it on him. He walks the rest of the way.

We stand pretty close, but no really close enough to kiss comfortably.

He takes another step closer and about one more step will do the job so I take a small step closer and can see his breathing getting heavier a notch.

"Okay, ready?" he asks.

I nod, trying to hide all my eagerness.

He leans in slowly and the second before his lips touch mine, I close my eyes and feel his soft lips for the first time. They mesh into mine like they were made for me and every second feeling his lips is a warm, wonderful treat. My lips grow cold the second he removes his lips and ends the kiss.

I stand there, speechless. I knew I would feel something, knew I might be the one feeling all the sparks. After a few moments, I give in.

"So?" I request.

"I'll let you know," he leaves me hanging and then walks into his room.

* * *

Well, if I thought waiting to have a talk with Joey was torturous, waiting for him to tell me if he liked kissing me…if he felt any sparks is just pure hell.

The next day I have work, so I don't see him. All day, I'm just trying to prepare myself for Joey to tell me he's definitely straight, to tell me he felt nothing. I might as well prepare for the worst, especially since he hasn't said anything yet.

* * *

I finally arrive home around six and walk in to find Joey watching TV in one of the lounge chairs. He turns around in the chair.

"Good you're here," I immediately say. I walk right up to him and look down at him in the lounge chair.

"We really need to talk, I need to tell you—" I start strong, but he cuts me off right in the middle of my sentence when he springs up from the chair and kisses me! His lips are on me again and all my words and every thought I had is gone. I bask in the kiss while it lasts and then he retreats his lips from mine.

"Yeah that," I sputter out.

I take another moment to get myself together.

"So, what…do you…have you decided?" I fumble anyway.

"I think I… like kissing you," he tells me. My heart could explode I swear, did he really just say that?

"I…well…" I want to ask so many more questions and then I realize he needed so much time for every little thing, I shouldn't rush anything, especially since I got the amazing answer I never thought I would get. If Joey likes kissing me, that's good enough for me. I don't care what his sexuality is, what his feelings for me are, or if he's just using me. I don't care right now. I just want to kiss Joey. And that's exactly what we do. We keep kissing.

And our kissing advances. We kiss hello and goodbye now. We make out on the couch until it gets too steamy to bare. We make out while watching movies at home. Sometimes I even lean over the counter to kiss him while we're eating. This has been going steady for a little more than a week now.  
And as much as I die in his kisses, I know that's the limit right now because trust me I have tried to move things along. I've tried running my hand up his leg, or undoing his belt one time, or attempting to take off his shirt and he always stops me, telling me he needs more time.

I'm being very patient with him, everytime I get frustrated that we can't go further, I remind myself that kissing Joey is such a luxury in itself and I have to remind myself how lucky I am to even get that much. I never thought I'd be making out with him and it is pretty fantastic. He really is a great kisser, I guess that's really why it's so frustrating to stop there; he always leaves me wanting more.

* * *

I decide we need to have more fun with this. I need him to forget about his insecurities and the questions he's probably struggling with.

So one day during a break at work, I walk the streets and in a store, I find naughty, candy hearts. Each candy has some dirty or sexy deed you're supposed to do to the other person. Perfect, candy and sex, how can Joey say no?

Later that night, we're kissing on the couch and after a while of enjoying his lips. I tell him I have a surprise for him. His eyes light up.

"What is it?" he asks as I get up and grab it from the kitchen drawer I stored it in. I come back with the bag and sit on the floor, hoping we'll need more room for some stuff. He looks at me funny, but I pat the ground across from me for him to sit. He gives in and comes down to the floor and sits across from me. I hand the bag of candy to him. He looks down at it, in his hands. He looks back up at me.

"What is it?" He repeats himself.

"They're sexy candies."

"_Sexy candies?_" he laughs at me.

"Yeah, they tell you what to do to each other," I excitedly explain, ignoring his mockery.

He makes a content face.

"Alright," he says and hands it back to me to open. I rip it open and hold it out for him to pick the first one. He grabs a candy heart and throws it in his mouth and starts chewing.

"Joey! You're not just supposed to eat them, did you even read it first?"

He looks guiltily at me.

"No," he says apologetically.

"Pick another," I leer at him.

He does and this time reads it. He stares at it for a while, which doesn't make sense because they can't fit that much on these tiny hearts.

"What does it say?"

"Can we just eat them instead?" he asks and now I'm too curious.

"Why, what is it?" I grin widely.

He looks down at it again.

"I…don't want to," he says.

"Tell me, let me read it," I plea and grab it from his hand before he can get rid of it.

It reads: Tie me up.

"Joey, come on, it's not even bad," I jest him.

"I don't wanna be tied up," he protests and pouts his lower lip out.

He should know, the cuter he is the more I'm gonna want to tie him up. But I don't want to push him; the point of this game was to get him to be more open and willing to things.

"Okay, why don't we save this one," I say.

He shoots his hand out and I realize he wants the candy back to eat.

"Can't eat it, if you don't do it," I suddenly determine.

He gives a glum reaction, but doesn't take it from me.

I pick the next candy and it's an easy one.

I turn the heart to him and let him read it.

"Easy, kiss me," I read it aloud.

He smiles a pleased smile at me and then happily leans in and presses his lips to mine. I hold onto him for a few more delicious seconds and then he sits back again and I pop the candy into my mouth.

He grabs his next one while I'm eating mine. He reads it.

"Nibble on me," he reads, judging each word as he says it.

"I get all the bad ones," he adds, looking up at me with a frown.

"That's not a bad one," I object. He lets off a puzzled look.

"Nibble?" he grimaces.

I smirk at him and move around to his side, scooting next to him.

I kiss his neck, starting off light and slow and then increasing to deeper kisses. I keep warming up until I open my mouth wide and start sucking on his neck. I hear soft sounds from him, alerting me he likes it. Then I move to his lower ear so I can get my teeth on something. I nibble a bit like the candy has ordered and then kiss down his neck again, lightly scraping my teeth over the skin there as well. I let up and look at him.

"Nibble," I say matter of factly.

He doesn't want to take back his quips or admit it wasn't so silly after all, so he just sits there with a coy face on. Which makes me want to tie up and kiss him all day. Oh god, that one candy isn't going to get out of my mind, is it?

I crawl back over to my spot with a smug look. I like that Joey's not so confident when it comes to us, it makes me feel more dominant sometimes and I like it, especially because I know the truth is Joey is _more_ than experienced.

I pick my next one and try to keep my eyes from bulging out. I quickly throw it in my mouth and start chewing it.

"Hey, you have to read it," Joey argues.

I panic, I don't want him to know what it said, because I know he's not ready for it and I don't want to make him uncomfortable and ruin the fun. I scramble my brain to think of something.

"We… got that one already," I lie poorly. He gives me an accusing look.

"Which one was it?"

"Kiss," I say and fake a corny smile and then lean in to give him a kiss, as to say we can still do it.

He leans back though, avoiding my lips.

"What, we can't do repeats?"

"We can, that's why I was leaning in," I continue to fib.

"No, you would have read it then, why'd you eat it so quickly? Come on, what did it say?" he presses.

I look down and clamp my hands together.

"What?" he pushes again.

"It's worse then your first one, you won't want to do it yet," I tell him.

"How do you know?"

I look up at him wishing I could believe he would happily perform this act with me. I take a deep breath and just tell him what it said.

"69... that's what it said."

I worry this is the end of the game.

"I guess we'll save that one for later too," he says. And it excites me inside to know that he's willing to work up to that. Whether it takes a day or week or month, one day we could be 69ing. I'm also glad that he addressed we're saving these, hopefully meaning we'll actually get to all the ones we save today. I try to hide the wide smile that's trying to escape and hold the bag out for him to pick his next one.

"Undress me," he smirks, finally showing interest towards one. I smirk at him and he flashes me a mischievous smile, which couldn't convince me any faster.

I guess he's fine with showing some skin as long as it doesn't mean I'm trying to push him to the next level when we're making out.

I sit up on my knees and move a tab closer to him. I look him over, deciding what I should remove first.

"We should only do one piece of clothing, since we might get this one again," he interrupts my planning.

"Fine," I grumble and he smiles at me. I go to his waistline and lift up the ends of his shirt. He lifts his arms to help me pull the shirt over his head and I toss it behind him. I sit back in my spot and simply admire the view. He jokingly gives me a disapproving look and I snicker at him. I wrap my arms around my legs, cozying up, as I still fixate on his chest.

"Alright, jut pick one," he snorts out.

I take an extra second and then dig my hand in the bag, refusing to break eye contact with his smooth skin. He tries looking away to jest me.

I pick another candy and finally look down at it.

I smirk, a little nervous he might be hesitant with this one too, but honestly I know there are worse ones and we can't only count the kissing ones.

"It says: grab me," I announce to him.

"Are there more directions?" he jokes.

"Well, I think I know where they mean, but I'll let you interpret it however you want," I tell him.

He tilts his head at me with a smile, not wanting to be given so many exceptions. He sits up, still gloriously shirtless, and moves close to me. I stretch my legs out in front of me, angled to the side since Joey moved in front of me, which causes him to be a little off to the side of me now. I turn my head slightly so I can still look at him and his eyes travel to my crotch, which instantly causes my skin to tingle.

He leans on one hand casually and then his other hand moves to my thigh. I tell myself over and over to keep it cool, in my head.

His hand spreads out over my upper thigh and then he starts to slide it up slowly. His slow and steady approach is making me sweat with anticipation. He gets all the way up my thigh and wastes no time. He slides his hand between my legs and slides it down my crotch, fully brushing over my penis, underneath my clothes. He grabs onto me fully and I inhale. He twists his hand so now his thumb is at the bottom and grabs me again. I inhale once more, feeling arousal sprouting out.

He keeps his grip and pushes up so that his thumb digs into my pants more as the rest of his hand is still squeezing me and then he lets go. I finally breathe a long breath out, hoping I don't get too hard from any of these activities. I'm already feeling a semi building quickly. He bounces back over to his spot across from me and I bring my legs back in, hoping I don't look too affected by what he just did.

"My turn?" he casually continues.

"Yep."

He digs his hand back into the bag and reads a new one. He swallows and I'm nervous.

"What?" I ask.

"Another one we'll skip," he says and just hands me the candy.

It reads: blow me and now my dick is really heating up. Just thinking about giving Joey a blow job is so hot, I stare down at the candy for too long.

Joey breaks the silence, probably feeling uneasy with me just reading it for so long.

"Can I chose one to do to you?" he asks.

I look up and place the candy with the other ones we skipped.

"Sure."

"Any one right?" he asks and now he's really testing my will power.

"Yes," I tell him. He looks in the bag to see which one he's picking. He finally takes one out and flashes it to me.

It reads: lick me.

He hops closer to me and I wish my skin would cool off a little.

He moves his mouth straight to my neck and the next thing I feel is his wet tongue gliding up my neck until he encloses the wet skin with his mouth and kisses my neck a few times before licking it again slowly. Then he lets his mouth mark spots up my neck, to my chin line and continues to my mouth where I catch his lips and kiss him back. He opens his mouth and waits for me to open mine and then he slips his tongue inside and explores my mouth until I'm honestly burning between my legs. I can't keep going with this game unless we're gonna take off our pants and do things more along the lines of the candies we skipped. So, I push him gently off me and his puckered lips hang with disappointment.

"Sorry, I have to take a break," I tell him.

I think he knows what's going on.

So, he responds with, "We can play again another time."

I nod and then take the candy heart on the floor that says lick me and place it in his hand. He looks down at his hand at the candy.

"Nice job," I cornily commend him and then get up and go into my room, locking the door behind me.


	14. Chapter 14

I feel a little embarrassed, so I decide to stay in my room for the rest of the night. Even though I think it's perfectly acceptable that I had to excuse myself to my room. I mean usually it's what happens anyway, but usually we start off light and steadily make out so I can last longer and I usually don't have to stop him so abruptly. I also hope he has to do the same in his room sometimes, I hope I'm turning him on as much as he turns me on.

But I guess since it was so obvious this time, I feel a little weird going back out and facing him. So, I stay low key and know I'll just see him tomorrow. Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm so excited we have all day to make out. And since we played our little game now, maybe Joey is more warmed up to things. I mean he took his shirt off and licked my neck; that was all new. I'm excited to see if we can go any further tomorrow night.

* * *

The next morning I get up pretty early, like normal. I know I have a few hours until Joey will even get up. I try brainstorming something we can do tonight to set the mood a bit. Maybe I'll make tonight romantic to really get him in the mood. I can't even fall back on the cliché things though because we can't go out together. No one knows about us yet and no one, not even really Joey, knows about Joey. We could watch a movie or eat dinner in the apartment, but that's not even special, in fact it's basically all we do, besides making out. I grin to myself thinking that thought.

I guess I could try cooking for him. Although, he's really the cook even though he never does it. He's Italian so he actually knows a lot about food, but just never bothers to cook. Although, there is one thing that is not only super easy to make, but I also know Joey loves it.

I don't say much to Joey, even when he gets up. We spend the day very normally. We all head down to the coffee shop with the gang and talk for most of the day. We all even go out for pizza for lunch and then end up right back at the coffee house afterwards. As the day goes on we all seem to disperse, which works perfectly for me. We head upstairs around dinner time and when Joey and I get back to our apartment, Joey casually turns to me and says, "So, what do you wanna do now?"

I hate how good he is at acting so cute and innocent when usually it would be a given that we would make out right about now.

"Well, I have a surprise for you," I tell him and his face lights up again.

"I'm gonna make us dinner," I tell him.

He smiles.

"Really, you're gonna cook?"

"Yes, is that so hard to believe?" I playfully glare at him.

"No, no you cook away," he smiles. He sits at one of the bar stools and happily watches. It doesn't take him long to figure out what I'm making from the few ingredients I take out.

"Pancakes?" He guesses soon.

"Well, I've had a lot of practice and I know you enjoy them."

I used to make pancakes for all the girls Joey used to bring home and never call again. He would run off to work in the morning and I would be stuck with them.

He's still very satisfied with pancakes, just as I thought. I finish cooking a big batch and put them on the counter on a large plate. I take out two more plates, silverware, and some syrup. I sit on the bar stool next to Joey as he grabs a few pancakes and flops them on his plate.

We both dig in.

"I like breakfast for dinner," Joey smirks in between mouthfuls.

"Clever, isn't it?" I joke.

Joey nods with a smile at he drowns another piece of pancake in syrup.

He goes to put the forkful in his mouth, but as it travels across the countertop, a large drop of syrup spills onto his leg. It drips onto his jeans around his upper thigh.

"Oh, man," he nags.

"Oh no," I comment and grab a napkin. I hand it to him, but then realize how sticky syrup is. I jump up and head to the sink to wet a napkin.

"Here you should really use a wet one," I tell him, handing him the one I just ran under water.

"Thanks," he says, taking the napkin from me. He wipes his pants with the napkins. I walk around to see. Now, there's a large spot of water along with a still slightly sticky syrup stain.

"Maybe you should just take them off," I say genuinely, until I realize how impish that probably sounded. "And change," I try to save.

He leers up at me.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

He gets up and walks to his room and I decide to put my plate away, since I'm good with pancakes. I grab my plate and bring it over to the sink. I run the water over it so most of the syrup can rinse off my plate.

"Hm, guess I don't have much clean clothes," I hear Joey's voice.

I look over and I'm lucky I don't break the plate when it drops the few inches from hand because I'm staring at Joey in the white t-shirt he was wearing and then only his black boxer-briefs…. no pants.

"You…need to borrow some?" I choke out.

He just stares at me.

"I could… or we could just make out now?" he shrugs like he's not standing in his underwear. I am not about to let him change his mind or put anymore clothes on. I quickly come out from behind the kitchen counter.

"Okay, where?" I respond eagerly and he lets his mouth curve into a small smile.

"I guess our usual place," he says and starts walking over to the couch so I retreat there as well.

I sit down on the couch, but he stays standing. I'm doing all I can to avoid looking right at his crotch and see if anything is poking out. I keep my line of sight right up at his face, but I really wish he would sit so I wouldn't have to strain so much to stop myself from looking in the wrong place.

Right as I'm about to ask what the hold up is about, he lets me in on his hesitation.

"Aren't you gonna take your pants off?"

I swallow a lump of shock, but I don't question him. I stand abruptly and undo my pants, push them down, and step out of them so I'm left in my white boxers. His eyebrows rise at this.

"You're eager," he scoffs.

"Sorry," I say quietly, realizing I might be acting a bit aggressively, especially since this is a new thing and Joey might opt out at any moment.

I sit back down and wait for him to sit. He does in another few moments. But he doesn't waste much time after this, he sits and almost immediately leans in to bite my lip. He grabs onto my lower lip lightly with his teeth and this move sends a boil through my blood. He releases his teeth and closes his mouth onto my lips as if his soft lips are apologizing now. He kisses my lower lip a few times and then opens his mouth more and forces his lips against mine demandingly again. I finally get over the astonishment of his attacks and lean in, grabbing onto his shirt with my hands and pulling him closer so his lips can't leave mine even if they try.

He surprises me again when I feel his hand rests on my thigh, on my bare skin, dangerously close to my boxer shorts. He starts sliding his hand a bit and I'm praying he will continue up my shorts, but instead of exploring under the fabric his hand skips my underwear and jumps to my t-shirt. Trying to pay attention to his hand movements has caused me to really slack on my kissing, since our lips were still glued together the whole time this was happening. He backs up for a second, wondering why my mouth was basically limp these last few moments.

I can't help myself, so instead of apologizing or waiting for him to ask what I'm doing I let words slip out of my mouth.

"Can we do a little more?" I ask, even though I know I shouldn't pressure him.

"Like what?" he seems open to the idea.

"I could kiss you somewhere else?" I offer. He looks provoked by this.

"I mean we got all this extra skin," I point out and motion to our legs, bare from only showcasing underwear tonight.

"Alright," Joey bites his lip inward and I hope he doesn't get nervous. I know if I could just start, he'll get into it. I put my hands on his shoulders and push lightly so he gets the idea to lean back. He does so that he leans back to the arm rest of the couch and he's taking up most of the couch with one leg lying on the couch and the other hanging off. I find room around him and half on top of him. I lean over him and kiss his neck and kiss the skin showing from his chest. I move down and lift the bottom of his shirt to kiss his stomach a few times, but I don't take his shirt off, not wanting him to feel too naked yet, I think that might make him nervous…ironically.

I let his shirt drop back and skip over his goods I'm dying to touch and kiss or even just look at and slide off the couch and crouch on the floor so I can be level with his thighs. I turn his body a bit so even though he still lying across the couch he's turned out more.

I kiss the inside of his thigh. I kiss as far up the inside of his thigh as I can, until his underwear gets in the way. After paying attention to both thighs for a little bit I move back to the first one and then make a risky move. I push my hand up his leg until it reaches his crotch and grip a firm hold onto him, through his underwear, feeling him for the first time. He squirms under my clenching hand and inhales sharply, letting his head fall back. I start working him up and down with my hand and Joey huffs out a few more breaths from my actions. I stop making out with the inside of his thigh and slide both my hands from his knees up his thighs, pushing the ends of his underwear up so they bunch up around his crotch. He doesn't look up, he keeps his head back, as it was, with his eyes still closed. I want to pull his underwear down. I want to touch him; I mean really touch _him_, my friend Joey. He's so hard right now and I'm burning just as bad as he must be, from the looks of it. I don't want to ask him and his eyes are still closed. I decide to put my hands around the waistband of his underwear and figure if he wants to stop me, he will realize what I want to do at this point and stop me. He doesn't move though. I wrap my fingers under the band a bit so he really understands I'm about to pull his underwear down, but he doesn't even look at me, he still has his head back against the couch. So, I do it, I take in a deep, excited breath and pull his shorts down. I see him in all his glory and I instantly get even harder seeing him fully uncovered, close up. I stare for a few moments, especially since he's not bothering to look or comment at all. I bite my tongue, too eager and beyond aroused.

I slide my fingers down the front of him to give a first tease; this draws another sharp breath from Joey. I sit up on my knees and look down at his penis again. I wrap my hand around the base of him and a groan comes from Joey, something I missed hearing from him. I lean down and put the tip in my mouth, kissing it and running my lips over it. This releases staggered groans from Joey. When I let my mouth slide further down him and slowly back up, a helpless grunt is expressed from Joey's lips. This makes me twitch in my pants and I repeat the action a few times until both of us are really suffering from this slow pace. I start sucking faster and taking some time to just run my tongue up and down him. His moans are driving me crazy and I have to stick my hand down my pants to give myself a little attention. I keep a steady pace until Joey grunts loudly and sharply and I'm tasting a salty, hot mixture in my mouth.

I wipe my mouth and start rapidly stroking myself as Joey comes down from his high. It doesn't take me long to climax as well since I was beyond riled up. Thinking about everything I just did, everything that just happened, seeing Joey in ecstasy, even if I couldn't really see his face, just makes me almost violently take care of myself until there's a new mess on the hard wood floor. Joey still hasn't moved or opened his eyes and I can still see his chest rising and falling. I get up and sit next to him on the couch. After a while my breathing has calmed down and I'm really staring to wonder why Joey won't open his eyes already or sit up or anything. I nudge him.

"Hey, Joe?" I say. He finally opens his eyes and slowly sits up.

He doesn't say anything and tries to showcase a smile, but it looks forced.

"I think I'm gonna shower, okay?" he says finally.

"Okay…"

He gets up and disappears into the bathroom.

* * *

I'm not sure what happened, in terms of Joey acting weird afterwards. I try not to think about it much because it's really ruining my joy of remembering that I got to blow Joey, that I got to see all of him and taste him and enjoy every second of what happened…until it was over and Joey barely looked at me. He didn't even say anything, I feel like I should be worried his first thought being to shower immediately after. But of course I'm too in la la land to genuinely consider this and do anything about it. I'm just wondering when we can do it again.

The next day, I decide I should take advantage of another free day, Sunday. I decide why don't I try to throw in a little spontaneity, that's always sexy. So, after Joey and I end up at Central Perk, like always, with our friends, we head back up to the apartment in the late afternoon. We walk into our apartment and after only a few steps, I wait to hear Joey close the door, and I spin around. I close the space between us so briskly Joey backs up, not expecting me to move towards him so fast. His back hits our front door and I lean into him with a grin.

"I was thinking of spicing things up," I whisper, pretty smooth I must add, I'm pretty proud. He's not prepared for any of this and his mouth cutely hangs speechlessly. So, I keep up my lead and put my hands on his chest and let them slide down to his waist. I undo his pants and start to slide down with them. I make sure to keep my eyes directed up at him. His eyes follow me down and I see his breathing start to quicken with anticipation of what it's pretty obvious I'm about to do.

The second I take a hold of his underwear and go to pull them down, his eyes stagger away from mine.

I think I knew I was watching for this, for him to break eye contact and refuse to look at me. I look at his penis, building arousal in the open air of our apartment. I want to grab it and feel it all over again, but I can't now, not when I know something is off about this. I look back up to see if Joey has decided to look at me again, but it's the exact opposite. His eyes are completely closed now and he looks like he's trying to prepare himself for the pleasure he knows I can bring him. But if he can't appreciate me, why should I? I mean I'm just sitting here, not even touching him and he can't even look down to see why I'm stalling, why I'm not sucking his dick already?

So, I pull his underwear and pants back up and stand up with them and Joey's eyes shoot open in surprise. I walk away from him and he looks down at his pants back around his waist. I didn't bother zipping him back up so he zips and buttons his pants again and then walks towards me.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

I press my lips together, hoping this doesn't end with tears coming from me.

Suddenly, I realize the extent this problem could become.

"Well, it's you," I reply honestly.

I expect the confusion he instantly expresses.

"What did I do wrong?" his voice is so sincere; I wish there was nothing to discuss. I take a deep breath.

"Do you…can you not look at me?"

He thinks over my question.

"I'm looking at you right now?"

"No, when we're…when _I'm_…" I correct myself and just motion my hand limply towards the door to reference what I was just about to do.

"I don't know… do I?" he asks and I think he's lying, I think he knows.

"Last night, it wouldn't have been weird, but you waited so long to look at me again and then you just ran to shower," I recap for him.

Now, he looks nervous, just as I unfortunately predicted.

"Are you not comfortable with this? Do you not want to do this anymore?" I ask him.

"No, I am, I mean I want to keep doing this. I like it Chandler, I like kissing you and I definitely liked what you did last night," he says.

"Then, why can't you look at me?"

"I can."

I give him a sad look and his face falls.

"I will," he responds again, but I don't want to force him, I don't want to make him do anything if he doesn't already want to.

"Why can't you, do you…not want to remember it's a guy on the other end?" I ask shakily.

He stares at me and it already breaks my heart. His silence is saying too much.

"Maybe we should just stop," I regretfully say.

"Chandler no, come on, I look at you everytime we make out," he tries.

"Yeah, but is that all we're ever going to do? Just kiss? If you're not okay with the idea of _me_ blowing you, then we can never move forward."

"No, I can."

I shake my head at him.

"Stop lying."

"Okay, fine!" he quickly shouts. "I just need time, like I always do, okay?"

I'm still worrying about all of this, I think it shows.

"I _want_ to take the time to make this better and I'll make it up to you, Chandler," he tells me.

I'm scared that he might never have enough time to get used to all of this. Maybe he's not even gay at all, maybe he just cares so much for me and is confused. I don't want to think about all these unsettling possibilities. So, I just nod at him and tell him okay. I tell him I want to be alone and head to my room.


End file.
